Christmas Cakes

Fresh and Wild £17.50, www.freshandwild.com
A badly made product created by someone who thinks, stupidly, that cake should somehow be good for you. What's all the fruit doing on the outside when it should be on the inside?
1 star

Safeway luxury wreath cake £9.99, stockists 01622 712 000, www.safeway.com
Dull and dry. Took a lot of effort to get a knife through the fondant icing. Not much fruit.
1 star

Duchy Originals £14.99, stockists 020 7834 0507, www.duchyoriginals.com
A good cake, with an appealing contrast of nuts and fruit. But do remove the fondant coat of arms before eating.
3 stars

Safeway, the Best Christmas cake £13.99
Silly and fussy presentation, but a good professional cake all the same with an appealing smell of alcohol on first cut.
4 stars

Asda extra special Christmas cake £13.98, stockists 0500 100055, www.asda.co.uk
Looks a little like something prepared for a wedding but, that aside, a fine bit of cake: big whole cherries and a nice balance between cake crumbs and the rest of the fruit.
5 stars

Christmas Puddings

Puddings on the Ritz available at Selfridges. £12.99, stockist 08708 377 377, www.selfridges.co.uk
Grim! Describes itself as less rich than others and, as a result, is far less pleasant. Strong acidic taste of apricots.
1 star

Fortnum and Mason Christmas pudding with brandy and rum £17.50, www.fortnumandmason.co.uk.
Big and fruity and with enough of a loose texture to be moreish. Definitely one for large family gatherings. And you get a nice ceramic bowl at the end.
4 stars

Carved Angel large £14.95, tel 01787 222330, www.carvedangel.co.uk
A very idiosyncratic and personal take on the Christmas pudding but not bad for all that. Lots of strong citrus flavours.
4 stars

Sainsbury's 'Free from' range (gluten, wheat and dairy free), £3.99, stockists 0800 636262, www.sainsbury.co.uk
A slightly odd aftertaste but, overall a fine pudding.
4 stars

Organic Tiptree Christmas puddings 454g £6.65, stockist 01621 817313, www.tiptree.com
The way you remember Christmas pudding: dense with big flavours of glazed fruit that hang about the mouth. A little goes a long way. Fabulous.
5 stars

Smoked salmon

Waitrose Organic Orkney 140g £4.99
If this is what organic gets you, bring on the chemicals. Bleached out colour, limp texture and a dull flavour with no finish. The fish died in vain.
1 star

Simply Salmon 100g £23.95 (including postage and packaging), stockists 01799 550 143, www.simplysalmon.co.uk
A huge disappointment: no aroma and soft texture.
2 stars

Scottish Marks & Spencer, £4.99 for eight slices, stockists 020 7268 1234, www.marksandspencer.com
Exactly what you would expect: a solid, serviceable smoked salmon which would not embarrass any plate. Good solid flavour and texture.
4 stars

Inverawe Smokehouse, 226g pack £10.95 tel 01866 822446, www.smokedsalmon.co.uk
Slick packaging which belies the characterful product within. A gentle but pronounced flavour, nice colour and good aroma.
4 stars

Andy Race from Skye £21 per kg, 01687 462 626, www.kippers-smoked-salmon.co.uk
Wow! A massive smokey flavour with a big muscled texture that suggests the fish lived a happy life. Some might find it overwhelming, but only if they have no taste. Terrific.
5 stars

Sparkling wines

Cuvée brut £6.99 at Tesco
Unbalanced. Lacks weight and fruit. A real tooth-tingler.
1 star

Three Choirs - classic cuvée £6.96 at Asda
Really doesn't do badly for an English fizz. Good value and it has body, though it lacks a little finesse.
2 stars

Omni - non vintage, £6.95 at Sainsbury's
Just not enough acidity and mightily over fizzy. Quite rich though, when you get through the bubbles.
2 stars

Mumm cuvée Napa, £8.79 at Sainsbury's
A really good sparkling wine to serve as an aperitif because it wakes up the palate. Definitely one to serve to granny before lunch.
4 stars

Green Point by Chandon 1997, £11 at Tesco
A very professionally made product, full of complexity and elegance. A great Christmas Day option for those not wanting to splash out on champagne.
4 stars

Cranberry sauce

Tesco port and cranberry Sauce, £1.69
Just plain weird. Tastes violently of raw fruit. Can see this working with a scoop of vanilla ice cream but with a roast? No, no, no.
No star

Waitrose apple and wild cranberry sauce with cognac, £3.49
More apple than cranberry and hence, while it might work with goose or pork, not one for turkey.
1 star

Safeway The Best, £1.79
Very, very sweet with a strange aftertaste of orange. Simply not very nice.
1 star

Harvey Nichols cranberry sauce with burgundy £1.95, www.harveynichols.com
More jam than sauce and very vinegary. More sweet and sour than anything else. Rather odd.
2 stars

Tiptree Organic wild cranberry sauce £1.45
Yet again, Wilkin and Sons prove they know their business. A lovely taste of whole natural fruit and there's nothing else in here but sugar. Terrific.
5 stars

Mince pies

Waitrose mini mince pies, £2.59
Literally inedible. Pastry, pastry and more pastry and not very good pastry at that. Grim.
No star

Safeway luxury mini mince pies £2.49
Unnecessary attempt to reinvent the mince pie with pointless toppings - crushed nuts, sugar etc - that do nothing. Might work for children.
1 star

Co-op £1.39, stockists 0800 0686727, www.co-op.co.uk
Looks a bit like a Mr Kipling product and tastes like it too: ie they're OK without setting the world on fire. A little solid.
3 stars

Selfridges deep filled luxury mince pies £4.99
Good, crumbly and very short pastry; indeed perhaps a little too short. The pies were a bit battered and bruised in the box. But good balance of pastry to filling.
4 stars

Marks & Spencer £1.69
Again, a classic M&S product: nice fruity filling, biscuity pastry shell and it looks good. All the boxes ticked.
5 stars

Hampers & gift boxes

Carluccio's La Luna gift box £45
Contains grappa in a beautiful blue bottle, chalky chocolate covered figs, panforte and candied orange peel. All were fairly average but the marine box and ribbon make it a fetching present.
2 stars

Simply Salmon Decadence hamper £120
As we know their smoked salmon was disappointing. This hamper were pared down to the absolute basic luxuries: caviar, foie gras, champagne, truffles and their smoked salmon.
3 stars

Oughs Cornish Family Christmas hamper £90, Tel: 01579 343253, www.oughs.co.uk
Quite an unusual selection of goodies including Cornish sardines and mead. The mince pies were delicious and the wicker hamper is completely traditional.
4 stars

Waitrose Christmas Hamper £61 The best thing about this hamper is the useful box it came in. A good supply of all the Christmas basics at a reasonable price.
4 stars

Harvey Nichols Christmas Box £45
Harvey Nichols doesn't do gaudy Christmases. A monochrome box arrived with all their Christmas products. A well-made delicious gift.
5 stars

Truffles

Carluccio's hazelnut cappuccino truffles £5.50, stockists 7580 3050
Truly disgusting. The nuts give a graininess normally associated with chocolate that has gone off. It's hard to believe Antonio Carluccio has ever put one of these in his mouth.
No star

Prestat 200g £9.50, 020 7629 4838, www.prestat.co.uk
On the plus side: it looks like Christmas. On the negative side: it tastes like Quality Street. Dismal.
1 star

Safeway Belgium Truffles £3.99
Very buttery and not enough of a chocolate hit, but may appeal to those philistines who aren't keen on dark chocolate.
3 stars

Thorntons alcohol truffle selection £6.29, stockist 0870 160 1911
The M&S of chocolates: solid, reliable and professional. Perhaps a little smooth in places but a good chocolate hit all the same.
4 stars

L'Artisan du Chocolat 12 pieces £7.50, 020 7824 8365 Some of the finest chocolates available. Thin, crisp and intense shells hiding centres of superb ganache or delicate flavourings or vanilla and fresh herbs.
5 stars

Jay Rayner and Marcus Wareing

Champagnes

Millennium '95 vintage £19.99 at Sainsbury's
Oh dear. Useful for buck's fizz and kir; in other words, not enough of a finish to deserve being drunk unadulterated.
1 star

Nicholas Feuillatte '95 blanc - blanc, £19.98 at Asda
Good value for a vintage champagne. Very yeasty and will last well through out a meal.
3 stars

Cuvée Dom Perignon '93 £49.92 at Asda
Elegant and refined. Full bodied and has a real finish but seriously loses out on price to the Pol Roger.
4 stars

Laurent Perrier rosé - non vintage £31.96 at Tesco
A beautifully packaged and very recognisable wine. Good fruit and density and a lovely rich colour.
4 stars

Pol Roger 1993 £36.99 at Oddbins
Winston Churchill's favourite champagne. Bone dry and with serious body and character and at a seriously competitive price compared to the Dom Perignon here.
5 stars

Alan Holmes, sommelier at Pétrus