How do you get a table for you and your screaming baby?

It all depends on who you say you are...
  
  


· Sketch, The Gallery, London W1
Tel: 0870 777 4488

Brooklyn Beckham

'Let me check if we have high chairs... Yes, they will be available but I'm afraid even David Beckham's child wouldn't be able to kick a ball around. This is, primarily, a restaurant.'

Rudy (son of Jude Law and Sadie Frost)

'I don't think our DJ and digital art will be suitable for the youngest. Our set menu is £60 but it shouldn't be more than £5 to make purée up for the baby. I strongly suggest that our sister restaurant Momo would be more appropriate.'

Lila Moss (daughter of Kate)

'The Gallery is perfect for a kid, there are DJs playing so your child can be noisy and there is video art. We can prepare special dishes or you can bring your own food and we can provide high chairs.'

· Gordon Ramsay, London SW3
Tel: 020 7352 4441

Brooklyn Beckham

'We don't have any high chairs. [We say it's for Victoria and David Beckham] We would be delighted to accommodate them. We can provide a high chair, we'll prepare some plain spaghetti and there will be space for the security in the lounge.'

Rudy (son of Jude Law and Sadie Frost)

'Lady Frost? Oh Sadie, sorry. We don't have any high chairs. We have nothing against children, but we prefer older children. This is an intimate, small restaurant. It can be a problem if they are loud. I would advise you to go elsewhere.'

Lila Moss (daughter of Kate)

'We don't have any conveniences for babies, it's quite smart, but we do have children from time to time. We can do a purée for the baby and you can bring your own own high chair.'

· San Lorenzo, London SW3
Tel: 020 7584 1074

Brooklyn Beckham

'We allow kids in the restaurant. Yes, we provide high chairs. We have a small area at the back of the bar where the cloakroom lady can look after them. That won't be a problem.'

Rudy (son of Jude Law and Sadie Frost)

'Sadie who? No problem at all. Bring all the kids.'

Lila Moss (daughter of Kate)

'We don't provide high chairs. How old is the baby? We have a small chair that we fix under the table.'

 

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