Victoria Mather: I don't really believe in going to the loo except when one's at home, but I do make an exception here because I like seeing that picture of the young Mick Jagger on the stairs.
Meredith Etherington-Smith: Ooh yes, that one's pretty good.
VM: I've been coming here since I was seven because my godmother lived above the restaurant. I can remember going when I was really little...
ME-S: ... I can too, but it wasn't the same. It wasn't minimalistic with David Bailey pictures dotted around, it was red plush...
VM: ... and Margot Fonteyn had her banquette over here. She used to park her little black Mini outside, which had gold wickerwork all over it...
ME-S: ...and Elizabeth Taylor used to neck on that very same banquette.
VM: It came into this incarnation in the early Eighties. It was really the first must-go-to, must-get-a-table restaurant. Meredith, I don't know if you remember but we weren't, at that stage, obsessive restaurant goers.
ME-S: Yes, but I seem to remember when I was at Harpers & Queen, doing a 'What Table you Must Be At', Le Caprice was on it. It was the one in the corner by the windows. It's the one Jeffrey Archer used to go for.
VM: That is the best table in...
ME-S: ... the joint because you are more private. The Princess of Wales didn't like it actually. I've seen her sitting at it but she felt she was too near the windows.
VM: Princess Diana was here a lot.
ME-S: Yes, she quite often had to leave restaurants via the kitchen and she said she was fed up with it, and that at least at Le Caprice you can't. The people who come here are quite sophisticated and so nobody paid the Princess much attention.
VM: Yah. You know what I love about this restaurant? It's comfort food. I don't like terribly complicated food. Gordon Ramsay makes me feel completely sick. I hate all that food you have to bow down in front of. I want to eat it not frame it.
ME-S: I always have the same thing.
VM: Me too. The fishcakes are epic. I do like the steak tartare, but it's very difficult for us Atkins dieters to utter the words 'please hold the chips' here.
ME-S: Whereas its sister restaurant, The Ivy, is more boho. This is for the working ladies who lunch. It's very 'guy' here.
VM: I prefer lunchtime to dinners.
ME-S: Me too. Perhaps we should become the Lunchtime Party Inspectors?
VM: Ha ha ha ha
ME-S: Ha ha (snort).
VM: We've never been here together. Not once since we met by the water cooler at Harpers all those years ago. We go to the same parties. We live in the same pond. We're pond life. Jesus, the director, always gets a table for regulars like us, even if we ring up on the day. And he always lends me money when I need it.
ME-S: Oh he's lovely. When it became hugely fashionable they didn't abandon the old-timers like us. Celebos come and celebos go and they don't live here and we do and we are the core of the restaurant!
VM: Hear hear! Yah, Le Caprice really is the essence of a good restaurant: It feels like your home, lends you money and you can use the loo...'
ME-S: ... Ha ha (snort).
· The Dinner Party Inspectors is on Tuesday at 8pm
Le Caprice, Arlington House, Arlington Street, London SW1A 1RT, Tel: 020 7629 2239
History
The restaurant opened in 1947. It enjoyed its heyday in the Eighties under Chris Corbin and Jeremy King's ownership, but it's still impossible to get a table. It is part of what The Dinner Party Inspectors call 'The Holy Trinity': Le Caprice, J Sheekey and The Ivy.
Popular Dishes
Starters: Plum tomato and basil galette, £6.75,
Seared scallops with peas, broad beans and Sicilian tomatoes, £14.75.
Main Courses: Salmon fishcake with buttered spinach and sorrel sauce, £11.75,
Grilled rabbit with rosemary creamed polenta and black olives, £18.25.
Desserts: banana sticky toffee pudding, £6.25,
Champagne and wild strawberry jelly, £10.50.
Celebrities
It would be easier to list who hasn't been there...
Seats
75 to 80 (depending on whether someone famous needs a table).
Opens
Daily from midday, last orders are at midnight.
Booking advised four to six weeks in advance.
