Mirabelle, London Tel: 020 7499 4636
Locanda Locatelli, London Tel: 020 7935 9088
Plas Bodegroes, Efailnewydd, Wales Tel: 01758 612363

· Bridget Jones

Mirabelle: 'It's very busy this evening. [Mention Bridget] Ahhh! I will speak to the manager.' Manager: 'We have two sittings a night. [Say Bridget wants to come at 8pm, not 9pm] The one with the diary? Because it's her we will try and accommodate her.'

Locanda Locatelli: 'We have nothing for that time I'm afraid. [Say it's for Bridget Jones the famous single woman] Oh, well, I'm sorry madam, there is no space for her.'

Plas Bodegroes: 'I think we are fully booked today. We can't sqeeze Bridget Jones in. [Explain who she is] I've never heard of her. Sorry.'

· Tom Jones

Mirabelle: 'We don't have anything at 8pm. For who? Right. We don't take reservations at that time but he could come at 7.30pm and vacate the table at 9.30. [Say that would be awkward] Well, he's most welcome to have coffee in the lounge after 9.30pm.'

Locanda Locatelli: 'At the moment we don't have any vacancies. I can request that you leave me your details and we'll call if something comes up. [Say it's for Tom Jones] I will ring you back within 10 minutes.' [Rings back in five to say there is a table]

Plas Bodegroes: 'That shouldn't be a problem as long he comes after eight o'clock. Shall I reserve it under Mr Tom Jones?'

· Catherine Zeta-Jones

Mirabelle: 'We only take bookings at 7.30pm and 9pm. [Mention that Catherine Z-J likes to eat at 8pm sharp] Oh, I see, I will check with the manager ... It will be fine, no problem, I'll take care of you madam. Thank you madam.'

Locanda Locatelli: 'That is no problem at all. I'll book it under the name Jones.'

Plas Bodegroes: 'We don't have anything this evening. [Mention Catherine] We do appreciate who she is but all we can do is suggest she comes a little later. That's what we do for our regulars.' [Calls back, unexpectedly, to say that will be fine]