A champagne house asked me to judge a competition recently. Tough life, you're probably thinking: he gets to drink fizz all day at someone else's expense. But this was a restaurant and hotel wine-list competition. We had to pore over 15 shortlisted entries for hours before we saw our first glass of bubbly.
After reading some of the prices people charge for champagne, I definitely needed a drink. How can Chewton Glen justify charging £220 for a bottle of Dom Pérignon when the same vintage is available at Putney Bridge in London for £130? You don't expect to find DP for a snip, but anything more than £150 is an insult to the customer.
How greedy can restaurants get? Very, in my experience. Sometimes the prices they charge are so high that they might as well steal your car tyres for good measure. Nor are exorbitant mark-ups restricted to Michelin-starred eateries. No, dear reader. These days, the majority of restaurants seem to be out to fleece you.
Most places mark up their wines by a factor of three. In other words, if a restaurant buys a wine for £10, it will put it on its list for £30. You then have to pay 12.5% service charge in a lot of places, which is yet another disincentive to spend more on wine. Buy a bottle of wine at £200 and you have effectively been charged £25 for some muppet just to pull the cork.
The more enlightened restaurants take smaller margins, generally, but particularly on their more expensive wines, or on wines that are harder to sell. My own favourite lists include The Peat Inn (01334 840206), The Bell at Skenfrith (01600 750235), The Harrow at Little Bedwyn (01672 870871), Ransome's Dock (020 7223 1611), Putney Bridge (020 8870 1811), Chez Bruce (020 8672 0114) and The Merchant House in Ludlow (01584 875438). But even comparatively wine-friendly UK restaurants can sometimes leave you wishing there were a few more BYOs in this country.
I'm aware that people have to make a living. I'm also aware that, as Ronan Sayburn, Gordon Ramsay's executive head sommelier, puts it, 'we use silver cutlery and Riedel glasses and there are usually at least two penguins hovering around your table. Food alone can't cover all our overheads. We make money on coffee, water and the little extras, but that's not enough'. Fair enough, but why not charge a bit more for the food, rather than punishing the wine drinker?
So, where do you find good value on a wine list? I would avoid anything that is popular, well-known or aimed at expense-account diners, footballers or Hollywood actors. Bordeaux, Burgundy and champagne are generally over-priced, as are Sancerre, Chablis, Rioja, Barolo and almost anything from the United States. You should also give house wines the elbow, as they are invariably cheap, nasty and bad value for money. Nor should you buy the second-least expensive wine on the list.
Concentrate instead on wines between £20 and £40 that are unfashionable or unfamiliar. Germany, Austria, Portugal, the Loire Valley (excluding Sancerre), the Languedoc, the southern Rhône Valley, Chile, Greece, southern Italy, South Africa, Argentina, Australia and Spain (excluding Rioja and Ribera) are all sources of bargains. If you're in a half-decent restaurant, the sommelier should be able to help you find them. Tell him how much you want to spend and listen to his advice. But here's a clue: if he's listing Dom Pérignon at £220 a bottle, stick to mineral water.
