One of the first interviews I ever did as a wine writer was with a fresh-faced young Aussie called Jonathan Scott. Scott was the London-based Australian trade commissioner at the time and was keen to share his vision of the future. He had sizeable, some might say excessive, ambitions for Australian wine. He predicted that in 1986 sales would more than double to 200,000 cases.
I can still remember my attempt to suppress a chuckle. At the time, Australia was associated with Kanga Rouge and Wallaby White, its first, none-too-successful attempt to break into the market. It was also the butt of condescending British humour. Remember that Monty Python sketch about Château Chunder, a 'fine wine that opens up the sluice gates at both ends'? We pooh-poohed Aussie table wines the way the French used to laugh at our cuisine.
But hit the fast-forward button and here we are in 2005, living in a country where Australia makes more than 20 per cent of the wine we drink. That's around 20 million cases in case you're wondering. Wine-wise, the last decade has been dominated by Australia. Indeed, it wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that Australia has redefined the world of wine, changing the way grapes are grown, vinified, packaged and, most importantly, marketed.
In many ways, I am a child of the Australian revolution. As a tyro wine writer, I appreciated the Aussies' no bullshit approach. Instead of some gnomic European pronouncements about tradition and the secrets of the soil, Aussie winemakers provided hard information, questioning minds and a beer at the end of the day. I loved the wines, too: their exuberance, their softness, their fruit concentration. Stuff subtlety, here was something that was great to drink.
Maybe my tastes have changed, but I've almost stopped drinking Australian wine. The very things that used to appeal to me have lost their charm. Australia still makes some excellent wines – Cullen, Leeuwin, Stella Bella, Grosset, Chapel Hill, Nepenthe, Cape Mentelle, Charles Melton, Henschke, Wirra Wirra, Yalumba and Peter Lehmann are personal favourites – but these are outnumbered by container-load after container-load of fruity mediocrity.
Where is the excitement that Australia used to provide? At the lower end of the market, Aussie wines are in danger of becoming the new liebfraumilch: bland, confected and boring. Our retail shelves are dominated by virtually interchangeable brands, most of which are over-priced. (Or they are when they're not being discounted by £1 or more, a favourite Aussie tactic.)
A few decent wines make it to the UK high street, but they are in a minority. Tesco, Waitrose and Oddbins have good Aussie lists, but if you want more interesting ranges you'd be better off visiting an independent specialist such as Oz Wines (0845 450 1261), Nidderdale Fine Wines (01423 711703), Sommelier Wine Company (01481 721677) or Noel Young (01223 566744).
You'll need to pay for the pleasure, mind you. Australian wine under £5 is all but undrinkable. In fact, there isn't much out there under £7 that's any good either. I went shopping at my local off-licence recently and bought six Aussie brands at an average price of £6.65. With the exception of a Jacob's Creek red, the wines were depressingly underwhelming, especially when you compare them with what Chile, Argentina, South Africa, Italy, Spain and France have to offer at similar prices. It wasn't quite Château Chunder time, but, worryingly for Australia, it was pretty close.
Famous drinkers: Bessie Smith
At 6ft, weighing 200lb, alcoholic and subject to fits of violent rage, Bessie Smith, 'the Empress of the Blues', was certainly not a woman to be messed with. Catching her man in bed with a backing singer, she beat the girl up and threw her from the train they were on (it was parked at the time), then chased her beau down the railway tracks, firing at him with his own gun.
Smith had a beautiful voice - sometimes rough, sometimes tender, full of power and rhythm. Born in 1894 in Tennessee, at her peak she was America's highest-paid black performer, earning $2,000 a week.
She drank heavily as a teenager. Gin was her choice and she put it away by the tumbler. Like many artists she immortalised her habits in her work, singing 'Me and my Gin' and 'Gin House Blues'. Alcoholism did not stop her performing all her life: she died in 1935 in a car crash.
Rob Parker
Six wines Antidotes to chateau chunder
2003 Peter Lehmann Semillon (from £5.69, Sainsbury's, Morrisons, Booths, Tesco, Oddbins, Asda, Unwins)
Made by a winery that makes great wines at every price point, this is a restrained, citrus fruity white.
2004 Tim Adams Riesling, Clare Valley (£7.99, Tesco)
Another winemaker that never lets you down, Tim Adams's wines are as subtle as his handshake is not. This is a dry, lime-scented riesling with good intensity and a spring in its step.
2003 Stella Bella Semillon/Sauvignon (£8.99, sainsburyswine.co.uk; Alliance Wine, 01505 506060)
This is a subtle, mealy Western Australian white with fine grained oak and a refreshing, herbal tang.
2002 Blewitt Springs Shiraz, McLaren Vale (£9.99, Oz Wines, 0845 450 1261)
Rich in colour and flavour, this is a peppery wine with soft and juicy plum and blackberry, complemented by toasty oak. Aussie wine as it used to be.
2002 Nepenthe Zinfandel, Adelaide Hills (£14.99, Oddbins Direct, 0800 783 2834)
Zinfandel is an unconventional choice for this cool climate, but this would give California a run for its dollars.
My best buy
2001 Cape Mentelle Cabernet/Merlot, (from £11.49, Waitrose, Fortnum & Mason, Selfridges)
Owned by the same company as New Zealand's Cloudy Bay, Cape Mentelle is every bit as good as its Antipodean stable mate. A finely crafted red that's closer to Bordeaux than Coonawarra in style.
