Gins
Miller's Westbourne Strength
£28.95, 70cl, 45.2%, royalmilewhiskies.com
This would be legendary in a Tom Collins. You get cucumber and a citrus medley - with tonic you get unripe melon. You'd have to go some way to beat this.
5 stars
Tanqueray 10
£29.99, 1l, 47.3%, widely available
Big, perfumey flavours, which are good. It has a crystallised fruit thing going on. It's very slightly lacking in juniper though. Makes an incredible G&T.
Best buy: 5 stars
Crown Jewel
About £20, 1l, 50%, available in duty free shops
Beautifully balanced, the distiller had a good idea for a gin and followed it through. It's like the difference between a real Cartier watch and a fake.
5 stars
Plymouth Navy Strength
£22.95, 70cl, 57%, thedrinkshop.com
This makes the roots of your teeth tingle, it's bold and aggressive and makes your mouth water. There's a maltiness there, and a husky warmth.
4 stars
Plymouth
£13.99, 70cl, 41.2%, widely available
If you know about the key flavours in gin, then this is for you: coriander, ginger, juniper and citrus all hit the mark. It's the first one with real lemon, not just peel. G&T gold.
4 stars
Junipero
£38.95, 70cl, 49.3%, thedrinkshop.com
Quite soft, but with a big whoosh of alcohol at the end. It's woody and earthy, - disappointingly, it has a rather dried juniper taste. Slightly bland.
3 stars
Beefeater
£16.99, 1l, 40%, widely available
Smells like Horlicks, it would be a good one for a cocktail. Actually it would also make a damn good chicken marinade! The kind of thing you could take to a party.
3 stars
Gordons
£11.49, 70cl, 37.5%, widely available
Inoffensive, quite balanced. A rather Jif-lemon feel to it, and it's not as characterful as it could be. Makes a very good gin and tonic though.
3 stars
Bombay Sapphire
£14.59, 70cl, 40%, widely available
Very neutral, so more like vodka. Cream soda? We're even getting Dime bars! No point mixing this with tonic, it would be lost. Good for folk who don't like gin.
2 stars
Gordon's distillers cut
£18.99, 70cl, 40%, drinkon.com
Grassy, like the a mown school field and not in a good way. It's wimpy on the nose, with really obvious lemongrass and ginger. Might be good in a Pimms.
1 star
Hendricks
£19.99, 70cl, 41.4%, widely available
Smells like antiseptic - it's like a rugby changing room as it's got lots of cumin, and then a saltiness like licorice. Strong floral notes too. We think it might go well in a cocktail with strawberries.
1 star
Blackwoods vintage dry
£14.99, 70cl, 40%
They've managed to distill out the best bits of the juniper and left a maltiness behind - like Caramac or cheap ice cream. We don't like this.
1 star
Vodkas
Potocki
£28, 70cl, 40%, Berry Bros and Rudd, 0870 900 4300
Really nice aroma of nuts and light spice. Creamy flavour, which feels good in the mouth. This would make a nice martini.
4 stars
Uluvka
£60 gift set, 70cl, 40%, Berry Bros and Rudd
Has a neutrality which is good and bad. No distinctive aroma though it has a peppery style associated with wheat vodkas.
4 stars
Smirnoff Penka
£32.45, 70cl, 40%, thedrinkshop.com
It's got a slight oranginess to it if you concentrate - even chocolate and we can't imagine how they've managed that. Moreish. It's all right that is.
4 stars
Reshnoff
£4.09, 35cl, widely available
Clean aroma, and it tastes light and unobtrusive. It's more than respectable. It would be fine in a martini.
Best buy: 4 stars
Stoli Elit
£44.99, 70cl, 40%, drinkon.com
We recognise this, classically Russian - there's fire and and spice and it's clearly wheat-based. Sweet and then fiery on the finish. Carries a mixer well.
4 stars
Belvedere
£25, 70cl, 40%, Waitrose
A light nutty aroma, not too much pepperiness. You finish a mouthful and then want more. It's got an appealing oiliness. Slightly thin in a martini.
3 stars
Grey Goose
£27.39, 70cl, 40%, drinkon.com
This has a touch of aniseed and some sweetness. But it's sitting on the fence - would work well in any medium, but wouldn't be our first choice. .
3 stars
Red Smirnoff
£10.99, 70cl, 40%, widely available
There are no outstanding taste qualities, probably quite low alcohol. Not designed for cocktails, it tastes like a student house party vodka.
3 stars
Ciroc
£41.49, 1l, 40%, drinkon.com
We don't like this, it almost tastes of tannins. It doesn't taste or smell like vodka, and would be really odd with a mixer.
2 stars
UK 5 Organic
£11.99, 70cl, 37.5%, major supermarkets
This smells like plastic bottles, or the inside of a new trainer. Unlike anything we've tasted before, chloriney and cloying.
1 star
Tesco Dry Imperial Vodka
£9.88, 1l, 37.5%
This is probably made from the cheapest available grain. A real house party vodka.
1 star
Tayzar
£7.50, 70cl, 37.5% widely available
An aroma to make your nose burn. Thin, insipid and flavourless. We can't drink this, and we can't tell what it's made from.
No stars
