Britain's first seafood trail is not in an obvious place. Heading west from Glasgow, the road quickly becomes scenic and hilly with lochs squeezing between hills that grow to mountains, but eventually, there is a choice to be made. A line of coaches destined for midges and drams chugs north towards the Highlands while only a few take the road south-west. Quiet and unfashionable, this road rounds down into the Kintyre peninsula, a crooked finger pointing to Ireland between the Sound of Jura and Loch Fyne.
For many the name Loch Fyne conjures the smoky sizzle of kippers, and the Loch Fyne Oyster Bar was my first stop by the waterside in Cairndow, where I tucked into a dozen oysters (£11.50), followed by trout in almonds (£7.95) and accompanied by a half bottle of French white wine (£7).
Knowing where your oysters come from is always a bonus, but I could actually see where mine came from as I ate them. They were also served simply - just sea salt and lemon juice. People do not muck around with seafood here. You might find the odd bit of lemongrass or burnt garlic but generally they heap it high and fresh.
From Cairndow, there is a long and winding road deep into the peninsula. It is in fact the long and winding road that Paul McCartney takes as he wends his way down to his cottage on the Mull of Kintyre.
Past Grogport - a place without a pub - you arrive at Carradale, a tranquil village where you'll find Dunvalanree guesthouse at the end of a road in front of a bay. Alyson and Alan Halstead moved here eight years ago to completely restore their characterful house. From my room, I could hear wave upon wave hitting the shingle and sand until I could resist the urge no longer and found myself walking along a shore sprinkled with marble pebbles and feral goats. The coast is rugged and lonely here and the isle of Arran can rise grey out of the gloom like a surprise.
Alyson uses as much local produce as possible in the restaurant. The prawns and scallops are caught by Carradale boats and the cheese, shellfish and fish are smoked at the Old Smokehouse in Campbeltown. I had Loch Etive mussels poached in cider with onion and chilli. The chilli was light and the mussels huge. The remaining soup was a vibrant mix of sea and cider. To follow came juicy scallops with leeks and ginger and, as elsewhere on this trip, they don't count the scallops like sovereigns. To finish, I had banana and caramel tarte tatin - the three courses weighing in at £23.50.
With regret, I left the next day and drove up to Cairnbaan near the top of the peninsula. The Cairnbaan Hotel hosts Princess Anne on occasion, and although my room was the size of a horsebox, it is a very pleasant hotel by the Crinan Canal. A sort of Scottish Suez, the canal links Loch Fyne to the Sound of Jura and from my bedroom window, I watched yachts and fishing boats sailing. You can walk the whole length in an evening and at the end hopefully see the most vivid sunset off Jura.
The owner, Darren Dobson, is an intensely jolly man whose bonhomie is well suited to the hospitality trade. His kitchen served me a very tasty trout pâté (£5), scallops in bacon (£15) and to finish local cheeses (£5.50) including a wonderful blue called Dunsyre, creamy rather than sharp.
My next course was at Tarbert, a small town clustered around a port. There is no better pub here than The Anchor Hotel, a pink house on the harbour side, which is down to earth and made for use not ornament with comfy rooms, an unreconstructed bar and restaurant with a revolving door in gossip.
It is thanks to Carole Fitzgerald, the owner of the Anchor, that there is a seafood trail at all. She devised the route that takes in 11 inns offering fresh seafood, the majority of which also have affordable accommodation, from Oban down to Bellochantuy on the west coast of the Mull of Kintyre. At first, there was the usual sneering, shaking of heads - until it was a success, of course. Now she has followed it up with a book, From Crab Shack To Oyster Bar: Exploring Scotland's Seafood Trail.
"We're too modest here," Fitzgerald says. "Between the sea and the land there is a richness you can't find in many other places in Scotland."
I have to agree. My shellfish risotto (£8) has langoustine that could double for a lobster and scallops that could be seen from space, neither losing flavour or tenderness with size. A waitress picked up a langoustine from the wrong creel in the kitchen and served it to a bemused couple who sent it back because it was trying to eat their chips.
From Tarbert, I took the 20-minute ferry to Portavadie. There is nothing there to greet you but in 10 minutes you're in the Tighnabruaich, a line of seaside villas on a beach. Despite being home to the actor Robert Carlyle, occasional royalty and Billy Connolly, it doesn't offer much excitement bar a superb tableau of mountains and sea from Loch Riddon to the Kyles of Bute. And of course, there's the Royal Hotel, which has a prime view of all of this from its modern dining room and its well-appointed bedrooms. I sat down in the dining room about an hour before sunset to see the colours change on the water and the land turn from blue and gold to pink and verdigris. In the background was laughter from the bar and the whiz of housemartins darting past the window.
I had an excellent local langoustine cocktail (£7.50) and then ordered a local lobster with lemon mayo (£24.95). I was about to tuck in when the folks in front of me pointed out to the window and the Kyles and I saw the body of a dolphin arc out of the water and flip back in, with a pod of back fins splitting the waves around it. I would say that their dinner was only just fresher than mine.
· The Anchor Hotel, Tarbert (01880 820577, lochfyne-scotland.co.uk) doubles from £25pp B&B. Dunvalanree, Carradale (01583 431226, dunvalanree.co.uk) DB&B from £60pp. The Cairnbaan Hotel, Cairnbaan (01546 603668, cairnbaan.com) doubles from £92.50 B&B. The Royal Hotel, Tighnabruaich (01700 811239, royalhotel.org.uk) doubles from £110 B&B. The Seafood Trail (01880 820577, theseafoodtrail.com). VisitScotland (0845 2255121, visitscotland.com).
