How much is food worth? Or, more precisely, what are you prepared to pay for it? No matter how fat your wallet or epicurean your tastes, you'll find yourself posing this question when the bill arrives at any Michelin-starred establishment in Paris.
Some people cover themselves in fat and swim the Channel; others cross the Channel and gorge themselves on fat. I went for the easier option, though it can feel equally painful. The French capital has to be the gourmand's Everest. But you will only know just how much you like to wine and dine when the bill finally arrives. They call it "l'addition", but such high prices seem more like the result of multiplication to me; now you know why that maitre d' with the slicked-back hair was smiling at you all evening.
It's like on Countdown, when Carol has a 4, 2, 3, 6 and 10 and gets 984; you think to yourself: "I had a salad, turbot, and a glorified chocolate cake - how does that equate to a bill that looks more like a cricket score?" And if you are eating at L'Arpège, imagine the match in question is Australia v Norway reserves.
In France, the maximum 35-hour working week has forced many top restaurants to effectively double their kitchen brigade by operating two teams: one for lunch and one (the A-team) for dinner. The result is that the payroll increases; someone has to pay for it and it seems that we, the paying publique are that someone. In Spain they cleverly cut overheads by not paying many of their cooks at all. Many South American chefs, in particular, head to Spain to work for free in the big-name kitchens, as there is little comparable back in Caracas.
Eating out at la crème de la creamiest of Paris's gold-top, full-fat establishments will set you back about three times as much as it would in London. A simple fish course may easily cost 70 euros and a tasting menu anywhere from 150 to over 300. Inevitably this makes you three times more critical.
Not that the meal will be three times as good. Still, a trip to Paris is something that if you are passionate about food, you have to do at least once: like a boxing fan going ringside at Vegas. My advice is to go with someone you love, go in summer when you can still walk back to the hotel after your meal, and go with a prior acceptance of the expense you will incur. That way you will be able to fully enjoy an experience far richer than a mere meal out.
Here are my top five recommendations. Bon appetit!
L'Astrance
I've already raved about this place in a previous review. Offering very light, very contemporary French cooking, it is, for me, the best of the bunch - as well as being one of the more reasonable.
Lunch is chosen from a limited three-course menu, while dinner is a surprise tasting menu for the whole table. Don't worry, if there's something you don't eat, by the way: just let them know at the start.
Foie gras marinaded in verjus, layered in mushroom shavings and served with a lemon jam is fast becoming a signature dish and epitomises Pascal Barbot's clean, fresh cooking. Incidentally, the owners decided on a name beginning with an "A" to place them towards the front of the guides.
· L'Astrance, 4 Rue Beethoven, Paris; +33 1 40 50 84 40
L' Arpège
Probably the most expensive restaurant in Paris. Unsurprisingly, they omit prices from their website, but it is still worth a click to check out their menu. My last meal there came to 1440 euros for three of us, so, obviously, I had to then head to Pigalle to help me forget.
The cooking here is quite minimalist and puts an emphasis on vegetables, many of which come from the chef's own patch just outside the city, though there are fish and poultry dishes too. Combinations are interesting, execution good, but presentation can be a little lacking. Best table: the one closest to the door for a sharp exit!
· L' Arpège, 84 Rue de Varenne, Paris
alain-passard.com; +33 1 47 05 09 06
L'Atelier de Joël Robuchon
L'Atelier is soon to open in London - though it may be a struggle to get in for the first few weeks unless you know someone. In Paris, I found its decor slightly dated. I liked the black and red colour scheme, but they have lots of jars of pickled bits and pieces pretending to be decoration. Anyway, the food is consistently good, quite rich, but very tasty. The mashed potato is amazing.
Also worth a tip was a chestnut soup with celeriac and foie gras, and an oeuf cocotte with girolles and parsley. Best of all - it's accessibly priced.
· L'Atelier de Joël Robuchon, 5-7 Rue de Montalembert, Paris; +33 1 42 22 56 56
Pierre Gagnaire
A friend of mine recently described his experience at the upstairs restaurant at Sketch as like "losing at Vegas". Happily, Gagnaire's flagship establishment receives better reports. Presentation is always flamboyant, though some dishes work better than others. The bread, meanwhile, is so good it is hard not to eat too much of it.
I would recommend going for "a la carte" here, rather than the tasting menu: it just seems to suit Gagnaire's food more. Stylistically, he is not dissimilar to Tom Aikens in London.
· Pierre Gagnaire, 6 Rue Balzac, Paris
pierre-gagnaire.com; +33 1 58 36 12 50
Alain Ducasse
The Granddaddy of the scene, I suppose. Ducasse has a bit of a trolley fetish: champagne, bread, petits fours, teas and coffees all get wheeled about the dining room like a souped-up Ford Fiesta doing laps of a provincial carpark on a Friday night.
If you want to be waited on hand and foot, this is the place for you. The cooking is classic, simple and restrained. It is also laden with luxury items: I hope you like truffles and Caviar!
Head to the bar at Plaza Athenee afterwards for an eyeful of Parisian beauties - though you may not have enough left in your pocket to get them drunk!
· Alain Ducasse, 25 Avenue de Montaigne, Paris
alain-ducasse.com; +33 1 53 67 65 00
· Our chef reviewer has worked in Michelin-starred establishments in the UK, France and Spain.
