I ate a lot of crap as a child really. Parents of that generation, well it was all about feeding you up wasn't it? On Sunday lunches we wouldn't have beef but we'd have bacon instead. But we still had Yorkshire puddings and all that sort of stuff. And lots of soggy cabbages and vegetables. Sometimes the gas got cut off, and I used to think it was great because my mum used to say 'right we're off camping' and she'd turn this three bar electric fire we had upside down and cook Teddy Bear's Porridge which was bread, milk and sugar.
I joined the army when I was 16. A lot of the kids there were complaining about the food but I thought it was great. You could have as much as you wanted, but you had to eat it.
When I joined the Special Air Service the food got better. There was a lot more choice and it was more exotic. We used to have nasi goreng [fried rice] at breakfast and things like that because the guys travel a lot and you get a taste for different foods. We had some bad food in Oman. You'd go into these small villages and do these 'hearts and minds' things and part of the protocol is you sit down and eat. The women get the goat meat, chew it and then spit it into the goats stomach and that's what makes the sausages. So you watch these women gobbing it into a goats stomach and then twist them into sausages and you've got to sit there and eat them and go, 'Oh that's nice'. Tea's important in the army. It's a very cultural thing. It's a morale booster, you're getting fluids down you, there's a social thing about it as well. It helps you calm things down and literally if you get lost - Iraq, Northern Ireland - standard operating procedure is: stop, get a brew on.
Nowadays I'm pretty lazy. It's anything that goes Bing really after a couple of minutes in the microwave: I'm just too idle. My wife cooks one or two times a week. We eat out four or five times a week. We've got a local Thai and it's fantastic.
At home, nine times out of 10 I don't even touch breakfast. I get up and make a cup of tea and pick up a banana or something and fold it between a slice of bread. And I don't eat lunch; sometimes I'll end up going into a Starbucks or a Pret A Manger and getting one of those baguettes and then that's it until the evening. Sometimes I cook if I've argued with my wife and then it's comfort food. Mashed potatoes and sausages and green beans. I do it like Desperate Dan and I put the sausages in, sticking up to try and get a laugh out of her.
I don't consciously watch what I eat, but if there's a choice between lamb and chicken I'll have the chicken because I think it's better - it's leaner, and I drink Diet Coke as opposed to Coke. I don't eat butter - and I've never had sugar since I was about 11 because I was a fat kid, so in that way I'm sort of conscious but I'm not. Everything in moderation is what I say.
Tea
The army's favourite cuppa seems to have heart-disease protective properties, and recent evidence has found it helps to reduce levels of the stress hormone cortisol in the body.
Bread
Most breads disrupt blood sugar and insulin levels in a way which can predispose towards weight gain and obesity. They are also, generally speaking, hopelessly low in health-giving nutrients.
Diet Coke
Although low in calories, there has not as yet been one well-conducted study which proves that artificial sweeteners aid weight loss in the long term.
Fried rice
More fodder, I'm afraid. For someone who appears to be aware of the potential pitfalls of carbs, Andy does seem to eat a hell of a lot of them.
Mashed potatoes
Like bread, mashed potato will disrupt the body's chemical balance, and is low in nutritional value too. I do approve of the Desperate Dan attitude though.
Sausages
These have a terrible reputation, but they are at least mainly meat (of sorts) which is a nutritious and natural food. The animal fat that Andy appears to be concerned with simply does not have strong links either with weight or heart disease. I would opt for sausages found in butchers, farmer's markets or farm shops.
Baguettes
Foods that release sugar quickly like this have been shown to have generally limited appetite-sating effects. After this, going from lunch to dinner without food is a recipe for over-eating in the evening.
Green beans
I'm always pleased to see a bit of green veg in someone's basket. More of this sort of stuff would be better, though.
·Recoil by Andy McNab, is published by Bantam, £17.99
