Why?

Seventeen years ago, before the Cocktail Girl was a Cocktail Girl, but rather a slip of an indie kid, Timepiece was her regular haunt. The beau monde of Exeter would gather there - well, it would have done, had Exeter had a beau monde, but it didn't; so instead loads of students would go. Among them, Exeter university alumni Will Young and Felix Burton of Basement Jaxx. It has never exactly been cool, but it is an institution for the youth (and faded youth) of Exeter.

So this was a pitiful attempt to recapture your youth?

So bitter! And actually, so wrong! My foray into the depths of Timepiece represents a brave new lifestyle statement. I am a pioneer of the retro clubbing movement, which sees professionally sparkling articles like me gracing erstwhile fave drinking venues, and enjoying it immensely. One knows the DJ's playlist like the back of one's hand (bits of Prince, the Smiths, Groove Is In The Heart, some Sugababes thrown in, Beyoncé to round it all off), where the loos are, and which bits of the floor are super-sticky. It's extremely low-maintenance clubbing - it only costs a fiver to get in. And you can drink in the pub bit until you're ready to dance.

Hardly Boujis, then?

It's the anti-Boujis, indeed. Instead of young royalty and Eurotrash, it's got Goths. Instead of slick mixologist bar staff, it's got Goths. Instead of Hollywood A-listers, it's got Goths. OK, I'm exaggerating- there are also skater types with New Look-attired approximations of glamour-girl girlfriends, and well-ironed, over-groomed footballer boys and third-generation indie children. And also indie dads. But still, it is v like entering a scene from The Mighty Boosh. I loved it all over again!

But did it love you back?

There was some initial suspicious eyeing and dark muttering, which made the Cocktail Girl a smidge nervous; until my (slightly) younger sister (also in attendance) explained that the regulars considered me to be blatantly 'DFL'. 'It means Down From London,' she said. Now, I have been called worse things - much worse - mainly by readers of this publication. So I cheered up, bribed everyone with cheap champagne, and then we got on famously. Oh, how we laughed! And danced! And laughed!

Didn't you feel old?

That's what my mother said. And - no! Because Timepiece (fabulous name, no? Such an Eighties bid to be alternative) is the only passable boite in Devon. Everyone - all generations, all variants of clubby types - congregates there and co-exists cheerfully. I danced with a couple of extreme youngsters, and one 65-year-old, and many others, and no one thought anything of it.

· Timepiece, Little Castle Street, Exeter, Devon EX4 3PX (01392 493096)