Fergie, singer

Hi, I'd like a table in half an hour. 'We're completely full.' It's for Fergie. 'Ah, erm...' Fergie, the singer. 'OK, I'll radio the manager. (She gets on radio - 'Can we get a table for Fergie the singer? Yes the famous one. OK? Great.') 'Yes, she can have a table.'

Fergie, duchess

I'm calling for the Duchess of York. 'I'm sorry, who?' Sarah Ferguson. Fergie. She'd like a table tonight. 'I'll check... That won't be a problem.' What kind of crowd will it be? Not too young? She doesn't like to feel old. 'No, everyone's over 21.'

Prince

'It's members only tonight.' Oh, couldn't I get a table for Prince? 'What the Prince, or Prince?' Prince. 'Hold the line - I have someone calling for Prince. ("What, the-artist-formerly-known-as guy?") 'Yes.' ("Of course, give him the best table in the house.") 'That's fine.'