Amy Winehouse

Can I book a table for Friday night? 'How many for?' Four. 'I'm sorry we're full. We could possibly squeeze you in early, but we'd need the table back after two hours'. It's for Amy Winehouse....#65279; I know she likes a long session so she'll need the table for longer than that. 'Well madam, may I advise you in future to say who the table is for straight away. Of course we'll find something. 7.30?' That would be fine. 'Lovely. Are you her PA?' Yes. 'Gosh. Right, I'll book that in.'

Pete Doherty

Can I book a table for Pete Doherty for Friday evening? 'We're very busy. How many for?' Four. 'Sorry, we don't have space.' It's for Pete Doherty. 'I realise that, but we're full.' Can he have a section at the bar? He just wants to drink to be honest. 'Absolutely not.' But he's coming from a gig and will want to wind down.' I don't think this is his kind of place. He's never been before.' Well he wants to come now. 'I'm sorry, we're full and there's nothing more I can do.'