Jamie Oliver

I'm calling on behalf of Jamie Oliver. He fancies some KFC but he wants to know if the chickens in the KFC chicken Family Feast are free range. 'Ha ha. No they're not free range.' I see. But do they come from the same farm? 'Farm? Erm, I'm really not sure.' Well, do you have any specials that are organic? 'Ha ha. You do know you've called KFC don't you?'

Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall

I am ringing for Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall. 'Who? 'He's a famous TV chef. 'I've never heard of him.' He likes the breading on KFC chicken, but he's concerned that the chickens haven't had a good life. Do they come from the same farm? 'Hold the line please ... No they come from different suppliers.' Is it free range? 'No I don't think so.' Could you get him some free-range chicken that could be fried the KFC way? 'Er ... I think you're going to need to call our head office.'

Gordon Ramsay

I am calling on behalf of Gordon Ramsay, the chef. He wanted to come in and have a chicken bucket, but he has asked me to check if the chickens are free range. 'You would need to call someone else to tell you that answer. I just work on the counter and serve the stuff.'