Delia Smith

I'd like a table for lunch tomorrow. 'I could do something very early, say 12.' No sorry, I need something at 1.30pm. 'We don't have anything I'm afraid.' It's for Delia Smith, does that make a difference? 'No, we don't have any tables free. We can put her on the waiting list, but there are quite a few people on it already.'

Morrissey, ex of the Smiths

Can I have a table for lunch tomorrow? 'We're fully booked I'm afraid.' I really need a table. It's for Morrissey of the Smiths. 'OK, hold on a moment.... What time would he like?' 1.30pm. 'That's not a problem. I will book it in his name. Just ask for me if you need anything else.' Great, thanks.

Mr and Mrs Smith

Can I book a table for two for lunch please, tomorrow. 'We are full, I'm afraid.' Could you fit us in at the beginning of next week at 1pm? 'Madam, we don't have any 12.30-1pm slots for the next three months. I suggest you try and come in either at 12pm or 2pm.' But if I want a table at 1pm, I will have to wait for three months? 'That's correct, yes.'