Pigeon breast

Marks & Spencer £2.99 per 250g pack

Having cut this up, I'm glad to still see some skin. It's nice and plump and fatty which means he was a happy chap once upon a time. It tastes like a fine bird.

Four stars

Donald Russel £1.30 each, donaldrussel.com

Nice and juicy and plump. It cuts well and has a fine, tender fleshiness to it. It's not quite fatty enough but it's still very good.

Three stars

Graig Farm £9.75 for 10, graigfarm.co.uk

This does the job but it's rather skinny and willowy. There's no skin either. A very decent but imperfect bird.

Three stars

Wild meat Co £2.75 each, wildmeat.co.uk

This is saved by a superstretch of skin which retains its flavour and keeps it firm and flavoursome. Not bad at all.

Three stars

Poussin whole

Forman & Field £4.95 for 2, formanandfield.com

This is wet, oddly enough. And it's quite bland. But it has some texture and with some well-seasoned assistance; it could be a contender.

Three stars

Waitrose £2.75 per bird

More texture than the others, but again it's very damp and somewhat bland. Chewy and it cloys in the mouth. This needs salt.

Two stars

Harrisons, honey and mustard £2.69 for 2, Sainsbury's Mustard? On a poussin?

This has been too messed around with for words. I can barely see the birdie under all this sauce and yet it excels in flavourlessness. Wow.

One star

Sainsbury's £2.49 per bird

A very sad, pale, drab bird. And it turns to cotton wool in the mouth.

One star

Venison steak

Denham Estate £9.95 for 2, formanandfield.com

Chewy in a nice, challenging way. I like to fight with my food. It tastes fairly authentic and is a good, maroony, bloody colour.

Four stars

Graig Farm, organic £2.95 each, graigfarm.co.uk

This one has a true sense of venison. You can taste the beast. But while it's quite strong and overly rich, it's not quite meaty enough.

Three stars

Hampshire Game £6.20 for 2, blackface.co.uk

Pleasing bite. Good tearing action. And it tastes of steak. Tasty steak. But not venison steak. Which leaves you a bit high and dry.

Two stars

Sainsbury's, Taste the Difference £6.49 for 2

Suspiciously tender but prone to drying out. There is a glimmer of hope in the flavour which is fairly gamey, but it's not enough to save it.

Two stars

Chicken breast

Marks & Spencer, Oakham organic free-range 60p per 100g

This one is not bad at all. It has structure and body, but little skin wherein lies the flavour.

Three stars

Somerfield, Best Ever corn-fed, free-range £1.10 per 100g

The skin is encouraging. I'm naturally drawn to that. And it's crunchy and tasty. But the flesh is dull and bland.

Two stars

Waitrose, free-range £1.55 per 100g

This cuts very easily. The knife just slides. But there's no skin. It is also textureless. A boneless breast which sticks to your mouth - an unenviable feeling.

One star

Graig Farm, additive-free, organic, Soil Association approved £2.85 per 100g

It's lumpy and drab and stringy to chew and tastes of whiteness.

Two stars

Chicken livers

Waitrose £99p per 400g pack

Ah. This is how you hope liver will taste. The morsels are very gentle on the tongue but ripe and tasty, even without seasoning.

Five stars

Selfridges £40p per 100g

Happy little things even if they look rather sloppy beforehand. Lovely brown-red colour. Crispy yet smooth, and creamy in the best possible way.

Five stars

Graig Farm, organic £3.99 per 250g pack

Grainy but pleasant. An almost instant charm. Bright, perky and tender. They're almost bouncing of my plate. Wonderful.

Four stars

Sainsbury's £99p per 100g

Velvety in the wrong sense. Rather school-dinnerish and ugly even when cooked. Small and malnourished-looking too.

One star

Beef fillet steak

Donald Russel £8.60 each, donaldrussel.com

What an unusual cut. Flavoursome, with a nice silky centre that thoroughly serves its purpose. A happier eat than I predicted.

Four stars

Sainsbury's, Taste the Difference, 21 day slow matured £3.20 per 100g

Looks a little swollen, with a texture like marshmallow. Puffy in the mouth but the taste is certainly passable.

Two stars

Marks & Spencer, dry-aged £8.99 for 2

It tastes of iron. And this must be a healthy sign given the lovely bloody puddle underneath it. But it's a little flaccid and dry.

Two stars

Tesco, Finest Scotch beef £10.57 for 2

This has a strange compressed texture. And it's dry, so very dry. Nice meatiness which gives it a glimmer of hope.

One star

Beef mince

Tesco £1.20 per 250g pack

While it's a long way away from steak tartare, it's quite dense and strong and holds itself together rather well. It's got a gristly grey element to it which I find slightly off-putting. But a jolly good effort.

Three stars

Millers 52p per 100g, available at Selfridges

Initially rather bland but actually quite good on second chew. It's quite fatty but it certainly gestures towards minced beef.

Three stars

Waitrose, Aberdeen Angus £2.49 per 500g pack

Bland and chewy. And so flaccid on the plate! It's bereft of flavour and hold and almost completely dried out.

One star

Sainsbury's, lean steak mince £1.20 per 150g pack

Now this is aggressively bland. It could be any meat. It takes far too long to chew and I'm sure it's what's been sitting like a dead weight in my stomach since first bite.

One star

Duck breast

Asda, Extra Special £4.48 for 2

Nice and ducky. Reassuringly less puffed up than its rivals. Crispy skin and flavoursome underneath. This one has the edge on the rest.

Four stars

Morrisons Breckland free-range £5.49 for 2

Surprisingly tender with a lovely, soft texture. Ephemeral bite leaving a nice oily ducky taste in the mouth.

Three stars

Donald Russell £1.30 each, donaldrussell.com

This one's lived a bit. In a respectable way. Lovely skin on it and the flesh is strangely relaxed on the tongue. Not bad at all.

Three stars

Waitrose, free-range mini breasts £4.99 per 225g pack

For some reason this gives me the willies. It looks anaemic and sad and has a limp texture which is very rubbery and flavourless.

No stars

Pork chop

Ginger Pig 85p per 100g, 020 7403 4721

This wins in the glamour stakes. It has a jovial bounce, proper fat and a fine bone. It tastes like a pork chop should.

Five stars

Orkney Rose, Oxford Sandy & Black £1.46 per 100g, orkneyrose.com

While it tastes slightly anonymous, there's a fine hunk of meat hiding under here. Strong, piggyish flavour and a good flavoursome streak of fat.

Four stars

Somerfield £3 per pack of 2

The flavour starts off weakly and it sits on the plate with a sort of shrivelled submission. Lovely aftertaste though - just stiff competition from the other piggies.

Three stars

Marks & Spencer £3.49 for 2

Not unpleasant once the odd dampness has passed. It's forgettable but not a bad chop at all. Just a bit flimsy and weak.

Two stars

Gammon steak

Orkney Rose, gorse bush cured £2.10 per 100g, orkneyrose.com

Aha - fat. Definitely a pig. I find this a comforting slice of meat. It resists the tooth and has a bacony aftertaste.

Four stars

Sainsbury's £3.26 for 2 Salty and appealing. It gives a good, rolling feel on the tongue and is aesthetically pleasing which is important.

Three stars

Asda, Extra Special Cherrywood drycure £5.78 for 2

Why has it been in a crisscross hairnet like a little old lady? It has an odd, aggressive flavour and a strangely fleshy quality to it but a fine texture nonetheless.

Three stars

Abel & Cole £5.60 for 3 steaks, abelandcole.co.uk

Hmm...a sinisterly pink piece of meat. I suppose that's natural. But it tastes damp and fleshy and a bit like meat sponge.

One star

Lamb chop

Graig Farm, organic £3.23 for 2, graigfarm.co.uk

Quite a charming chunk of meat. The bone juts out adequately, the flavour sits well and it's fatty without being too fatty. Lovely.

Five stars

Orkney, Shetland ewe £1.59 per 100g, orkneyrose.com

This comes from an older animal. Not a sheep, but not a spring lamb. Maybe an adolescent? Anyway, it's good and strong and tastes natural.

Four stars

Waitrose, New Zealand £1.40 per 100g

Numb texture. And a bit shy on the flavour front. Too giving, it doesn't taste of much and doesn't chew well in the mouth.

Three stars

Tesco, Finest £3.83 for 2

This declares its presence in its first bite but it has a grainy texture and little actual flavour. And it comes from a very small beast.

Two stars

Mutton chop

Blackface, Scottish 70p per 100g, blackface.co.uk

Fabulous offally flavour. A lovely musky taste. It's also a reassuring colour. A fine chop of mutton.

Five stars

Ginger pig 95p per 100g, 020 7403 4721

This looks the best, it's very sculptured. It doesn't disintegrate which is very good. A nice chop with lovely, tender fat.

Five stars

Sheepdrove £1.31 per 100g, sheepdroveshop.com

A bit gloomy when raw. Grey and drab. But, it cooks fairly well. Bit of a sad old thing. and it feels livery on my tongue.

Two stars

Graig Farm, organic 98p per 100g, graigfarm.co.uk

Passable in flavour but rather devoid of magic and pazzazz. It died for the wrong reason.

One star

· Fergus Henderson is owner of St John, 26 St John Street, London EC1, 020 7251 0848