Pork sausages

Marks & Spencer Gloucester Old Spot
360g, £3.29, marksandspencer.com
This is quite nice. There's a good meat content that you can really taste, which means it's not been too processed.
★★★★

Sainsbury's TTD Ultimate Outdoor Bred
400g, £2.79, sainsburys.co.uk
Decent meat. Quite a strong sage flavour but it's not overpowering.
★★★

The Co-operative Truly Irresistible Gluten Free
400g, £2.79, co-operative.coop
This falls apart easily. Which usually means the meat is cheaper and more processed.
★★

Donald Russell Pork Sausages
280g, £3, donaldrussell.com
I'm excited by the look: a much bigger sausage. But inside it's dense and you can't identify the meat.
★

Unsmoked back bacon

Donald Russell Unsmoked Back Bacon
200g, £5.50, donaldrussell.com
Acceptable and nice-looking. It's not too thick and not too thin. A better flavour: tastes like it's from a decent pig.
★★★★

Marks & Spencer Outdoor Bred
220g, £2.99, marksandspencer.com
The loin part is of a goodish quality and not too salty. Not outstanding but definitely good.
★★★★

Sainsbury's Taste the Difference Ultimate
220g, £2.99, sainsburys.co.uk
A much thinner cut, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. It's not overly salted. Reasonable.
★★★

Aldi Ashfield Farm Ultimate Bacon
200g, £1.79, aldi.co.uk
This doesn't show a great body shape unfortunately. It's quite salty and tastes cheap.
★★

Smoked streaky bacon

Sainsbury's Taste the Difference Ultimate
220g, £2.99, sainsburys.co.uk
A very light, delicate smoke. It's a better quality. Better fat content, too.
★★★★

Marks & Spencer Outdoor Bred
240g, £2.99, marksandspencer.com
Very thin rasher but not a bad piece of pork despite there not being much fat on it. This has a good smoke on it as well.
★★★

The Co-operative British Dry-Cured Oak Smoked
200g, £3.19, co-operative.coop/food
A nice leanish bacon, with strong smoke. Slightly too salty, so marked down for that.
★★★

Donald Russell Dry-Cured Streaky Bacon
4x 200g pack, £18, donaldrussell.com
There's not a lot of fat on this and not smoky enough for smoky bacon. Not too salty, either.
★★★

Cooked ham

Tesco Finest Ham on the Bone
£1.85 per 100g, tesco.com
There's a good bit of fat on this, which is important to see so you know it's proper ham. A thick cut, which is pleasing.
★★★

Forman & Field Emmett's Mild Cure Ham
250g, £9.50, formanandfield.com
The fat is rich and creamy so you know the pig's been looked after. But it's heavily smoked and much too salty.
★★

Aldi Specially Selected Wiltshire Ham
120g, £1.79, aldi.co.uk
The crumbly edge doesn't add anything here. The ham tastes cheap.
★★

Natoora Prosciutto Cotto
£2.95 per 100g, natoora.co.uk
A lot of marbling but not in a nice way. A bit too thin and tasteless.
★

Pork pies

Forman & Field Mrs King's Melton Mowbray
300g, £4.95, formanandfield.com
Handmade crust, along with a good amount of jelly and lard. This is almost perfect.
★★★★★

Tesco Finest 5 Mini Melton Mowbray
250g, £2.60, tesco.com
Crust is lardy, which I like. But there's not much jelly and the filling's bland – needs seasoning.
★★★

Waitrose Large Melton Mowbray
440g, £2.39, waitrose.com
Pastry is well made, nice jelly. But let down by filling which is too peppery.
★★

Marks & Spencer 8 Mini Melton Mowbray
400g, £2.69, marksandspencer.com
Needs more jelly. The pastry is OK and meat is coarse, which is good. Doesn't really taste of anything. ★★

Scotch eggs

Forman & Field Scotch Eggs
£5.95 for two, formanandfield.com
The meat layer is nice and thin with a lovely hint of Armagnac – it's almost like a pâté. Good quality egg with a rich yolk.
★★★★

Sainsbury's Taste the Difference
140g, 99p, sainsburys.co.uk
I'm disappointed the egg is overcooked. The meat density isn't bad but all I can taste is sage.
★★★

Waitrose Cumberland Scotch Egg
227g, £1.99, waitrose.com
This is very peppery. I wouldn't eat this cold. The meat is not at all good, and it has gristly bits in it.
★

Selfridges Classic Mac Scotch Egg
148g, £3.49, selfridges.com
This looks horrific. The meat is undercooked and the egg cooked too much. It is so over salted. Just awful.
0 stars

• Johnnie Mountain's Pig (£20, Duncan Baird) is out now. Order a copy for £16 from the Observer bookshop