2 Church Road, Oare, near Faversham, Kent (01795 533633). Meal for two, including drinks and service: £80
A few weeks ago, in a restaurant to which I later gave a positive review, a waitress knocked over and smashed a glass on our table. I didn't write about it because accidents happen. If they'd been throwing soup against the walls and pouring gravy down our necks, then it would have been a part of the story. You must have a good reason to put the boot in.
I mention this because, as I type, I sense someone looking over my shoulder: a blogger who was in the Three Mariners at the same time as me and wrote a whingeing, bitter little piece about… well, I'm not sure what. She was driving a van that day. When she parked it in the car park the chef-owner wanted to know whether she was eating there. When she said she was, the blogger admits the chef was sweetness and light. Still, white van woman was now suspicious that this was a terrible place which was sneering at her. She can't muster much in the way of evidence, save that she didn't like the young waitress's facial expression. Oh, and that as she'd turned up without a reservation, the staff said seating her might be tricky. She rolls her eyes at this because it was a Monday lunchtime. Except that the place really was full.
In the digital age, I am, as a paid critic, supposed to recognise the right of bloggers to say as they find. And I do. Come one, come all. Do your thing, however inelegantly. But I also have sympathy with the restaurants. A woman in a foul mood lands in your gaff and all of a sudden there's 500 graceless words up on the web. I won't link to it; you will have to find it for yourself.
She describes the food as fine and says that I, doubtless, will give the Three Mariners a glowing review. She's almost right. The food is better than fine and it's a far better than the average gastro pub, as it's a little rough hewn and ready. It avoids a clichéd menu and keep a sense of place, namely proximity to the nearby north Kent coast. Fish soup here is a serious, deep rust-coloured liquor heaving with marine life and the crack and soothe of garlic and tomatoes. Too often we dismiss fish dishes as solely for the warm breezes of summer, but in the right hands they can be something else. They become as comforting as any dumpling-mined winter stew. Sweet, dairy-fat-rich potted crab was served the right side of room temperature so you could taste the crab rather than the metallic tang of the fridge. Both were £7.50. Perhaps more remarkable was £4.50 for a soft, silky potato and cep soup. Think of it as a moisturiser for the soul. I wanted to dab it behind my ears.
There were more ceps in a special of braised ox cheek. I can't pretend. This was one of the ugliest plates of food I have ever seen, the Arthur Mullard of the culinary world. It was school dinners on a foot of white ceramic: a slick of brown to one side, the debris of steamed vegetables to the other. However, if you closed your eyes and ate, it became a thing of beauty, the big old jowly animal cooked until you could carve it with a spoon alongside ceps that still tasted of themselves, the whole draped in a proper, kicking gravy. Seared red mullet fillets with orange-glazed fennel and saffron potatoes both looked and ate prettily. The fish was bang on, crisp one side, tumbling apart on the other.
I am always going to like a place that is willing to put something as simple as a warm rice pudding on the menu. There was a light touch with nutmeg, and a jug of syrup for pouring. A dark chocolate tart was well made, with a crumbly pastry and an intense filling. The latter was the problem. It was just too intense. I regard being unfinishable as a failing in a dessert. So a few bumps in the road. But service was cheerful and efficient and nobody shouted at us about the car we arrived in, despite it being filthy. Obviously that's just me getting special treatment. What marks out the Three Mariners is a clear sense of self, whatever white van woman might say.
Email Jay at jay.rayner@observer.co.uk or visit theguardian.com/profile/jayrayner for all his reviews in one place. Follow Jay on Twitter @jayrayner1
