It’s that most wonderful time of the year – OFM’s special Christmas taste test.
We invited chef and writer Cynthia Shanmugalingam to give her verdict on mince pies and festive cheeses. For the essential additions to your festival haul (and for those you might want to avoid) read on …
Tesco Finest Wensleydale with aged brandy soaked fruits
£3, 180g, tesco.com
That’s like carrot halwa from an Indian sweet shop blended into cheese. It’s like the fruit has been candied. What a terrible idea. I would use the word “grim”.
No stars
Morrisons caramelised onion cheddar
£2.50, 180g, morrisons.com
That’s disgusting. I don’t even know how to describe it. It tastes caramelised … is it onion pureed into cheddar or something? I wouldn’t serve it. I would rescue people from it.
No stars
Waitrose white stilton with limoncello
£2, 150g, waitrose.com
Oh dear – what are those little bits? It tastes like booze. Like white wine, champers … What is it? Limoncello? This is an abomination to cheese.
No stars
Lidl Deluxe Christmas dinner Wensleydale
£2.49, 200g, lidl.co.uk
It smells … oh my days, that is terrible. That’s like … Wensleydale … cranberries … some spices? It’s horrific. Is it thyme? Really really awful.
No stars
Farm Shop Boxing Day chutney
£6.95, 330g, farmshop.co.uk
Nice – bit of heat, bit of spice, bit of mustard. Tastes appley, nice sweetness, cinnamon. That’s a delight. Very spicy – it’s got a little kick. Let’s go the full five!
★★★★★
M&S Collection bloody mary chutney
£3, 200g, ocado.com
I’m getting celery, tomato … I don’t want that one very much. It tastes like tomato juice you have on the plane with Tabasco. Ohhh, bloody mary? Fine, then it delivers on that promise.
★★★
Tracklements fresh chilli jam
£3.90, 210g, waitrose.com
Hot. Spicy. It’s a bit like pepper jelly. I’d have it with a hard cheese – maybe an aged cheddar. You could put it in a toastie, if you fancied blowing your head off.
★★★★
Co-op Irresistible blood orange and chocolate frangipane mince pies
£2.50 for four, coop.co.uk
A mince pie with a sort of dry brownie top. Is it flaked almonds? The mince is heavy on sultanas and orange. It’s quite acidic and unpleasant.
No stars
Tesco Finest frangipane mince pies
£3.50 for four, tesco.com
This is overpowered by almonds, but the filling is nice. I think I’m getting some booze? But the pastry is sort of powdery, in a way I don’t like.
★★
Aldi Specially Selected maple and pecan mince pies
£2.25 for four, aldi.co.uk
What is that flavour? I’m getting maple syrup strongly. It’s extremely sweet. The pastry’s OK – sweet and crumbly – but it’s hard to divorce it from the horrors within.
No stars
BEST BUY
Konditor mince pies
£20 for 12, konditor.co.uk
The pastry is flaky and rich. The filling doesn’t have a lot of depth of flavour but it’s all plump and juicy – it hasn’t been cooked down too much. It’s the winner.
★★★★★
Lidl Deluxe brandy crumble mince pies
£3.29 for six, 265g, lidl.co.uk
Looks appealing. It’s harder and crumblier than the others. It’s orangey, very rich, but it’s not scratching the itch of a mince pie.
★★★
Asda Exceptional whisky, fig and spiced honey mince pies
£2.50 for four, asda.com
It’s boozy. Flaked almonds give it a nice texture. It’s like a great mince pie for people who don’t love mince pies.
★★★★★
Lidl Deluxe all butter mince pies
£2.29 for six, lidl.co.uk
Crumbly, nice pastry. It feels like a good, solid, reliable workhorse. I’d be happy serving it at all occasions. Lidl? I love that. It’s a value-for-money choice.
★★★
Morrisons The Best cherry bakewell mince pies
£2.75 for four, morrisons.com
The bakewell tart/mince pie combo is a collab I don’t think Christmas needs.
★★
Cynthia Shanmugalingam’s restaurant is Rambutan, 10 Stoney Street, London SE1. All items blind-tested
