Sliced white bread from 23p

Kingsmill soft white , 800g, approx 84p, widely available
A great bacon sarnie bread. A real bready taste of yeast and flour. Nice texture. *****

Safeway savers, 800g, 28p
A bit of character to this, both in flavour and texture. Not bad at all. ***

Tesco value, 800g, 23p
Ah yes, the taste of childhood. Which is to say cheap, white sliced bread. **

Kwik Save simply , 800g, 24p
The bread that has launched a thousand Marmite sandwiches. Not awful, just not great. **

Sainsbury's low price , 800g, 23p
There's cheap and there's cheap and nasty. You could fall asleep with this in your mouth it's so insipid.
no stars

Sliced brown bread from23p

Safeway savers wholemeal , 800g, 28p
The kind of bread that makes parents feel good about themselves when they feed it to their kids.
****

Hovis original wheatgerm , 800g, approx 72p, widely available
A pleasant, slightly yeasty, almost Marmite taste.
****

Tesco value brown bread , 800g, 23p
A good smell and a pronounced yeasty sourness.
****

Kwik Save simply, 800g, 24p
A little weird. There seem to be bits of husk in here. OK, if you like that sort of thing.
**

Morrison's Bettabuy , 800g, 23p
Doughy, and a little dull but not actively offensive.
**

Fish fingers from 24p

Birdseye fillet fish fingers, 240g, approx £1.69, widely available
A light, batter coating outside, real fish inside. Delicious.
*****

Asda smart price, 250g, 24p
We quite like these. The texture isn't bad and there's an interesting back flavour from the paprika added to the crumb.
***

Sainsbury's low price , 500g, 50p
A nice crisp crumb and not too fatty, but not exactly a winner.
**

Iceland, 300g, £1.49
A dull and unappealing bit of fish finger. We were prepared to put it in our mouths, but can't be more enthusiastic than that.
*

Tesco value , 250g, 24p
Whoever is responsible for these should be tried for crimes against food. Is it fish? Meat? Bread? Is it horrible? Oh, definitely.
no stars

Long-life orange juice from 32p

Just Juice 100% pure orange juice , 1 litre, 85p
A freshness and tang. Actually smells of oranges.
***

Safeway savers , 1 litre, 37p
No orange smell at all, but a bit of ripeness to the juice itself.
**

Tesco value , 1 litre, 32p
A little body but, like most of these, underwhelming.
**

Asda smart price , 1 litre, 32p
Tastes exactly the same as the last one.
**

Sainsbury's low price , 1 litre, 33p
Horribly watery and no depth. More like an orange squash.
*

Tomato Ketchup from 11p

Heinz, 342g, approx 73p, widely available
The daddy. Big flavour of tomatoes. 'A big dose of umami in there,' says Heston, and who are we to disagree?
*****

Safeway savers, 850g, 55p
There's body and strength here. Not the best, but not bad.
***

Co-op everyday value , 570g, 57p
Gloopy on account of the rice flour and corn starch used to thicken it.
**

Asda smart price , 485g, 41p
Looks worrying and tastes worrying. A tart, vinegary slop with a taste of tomato purée.
*

Tesco value, 570g, 34p
Awful. Tastes as if the tomatoes have been left in a dusty cupboard somewhere. Says 'Quality guaranteed' on the bottle. By whom?
no stars

Baked beans from 11p

Heinz, 415g, approx 39p, widely available
Not a runaway winner, but good all the same. Not too sweet or cloying and a pleasing creamy texture to the beans.
****

Morrison's Bettabuy, 420g, 12p
Not bad but a little on the sweet side.
***

Safeway savers, 420g, 14p
An idiosyncratic bit of baked bean. Not unpleasant, just a slightly odd back taste.
***

Asda smart price , 410g, 11p
Looks nice. Lots of beans in there, but there's a slight back taste of tomato concentrate.
***

Sainsbury's low price , 420g, 11p
A curious grainy texture which didn't do it for us.
*

Sausages from 44p

Sainsbury's low price, 454g, 44p
Looks weird and shrivelled, the skin having shrunk up the sausage. But oddly pleasant for all that.
***

Tesco value 10 thick sausages, 570g, 49p
An inoffensive sausage with a slightly spicy back kick.
**

Kwik Save simply , 454g, 44p
Reminds us of the inside of a sausage roll. Not necessarily a terrible thing but not a good thing either.
**

Co-op everyday value, 600g, 87p
A doughy, dull sausage.
**

Iceland great value, 907g, 87p
We ate this so you don't have to. Horrible texture. You wouldn't need bread to make a sausage sandwich with these.
no stars

Chocolate digestives from 42p

Co-op everyday digestive bars, pack of 16, 99p
A different creature, being entirely encased in chocolate, but the one we most wanted to eat. A good malty flavour.
*****

McVitie's, 200g, approx 84p, widely available
The stuff of childhood. A crisp biscuit and a nice thickness of chocolate.
****

Tesco value , 300g, 42p
Less chocolaty and, as a result, the saltiness of the biscuit comes through.
***

Safeway savers , 500g, 69p
Light on chocolate but a pleasing toasted flavour at the end.
***

Sainsbury's low price , 400g, 59p
The biscuit looks dry and it is. More like a cheese biscuit. Unbalanced.
**

Drink
OFM's expert drink taster is Alan Holmes, head sommelier at Pétrus at the Berkeley (020 7235 1200)

White wine under £4

2002 Grange du Midi Marsanne, 75cl, £3.99, Majestic Wine
Exotic ripe nose of papaw and pineapple makes this a great alternative to chardonnay.
****

2003 Vina Ulmo Sauvignon Blanc , 75cl, £3.29, Marks and Spencer
Lovely cat's-pee aroma which dissipates to crisp grapefruit zest. Palate is more tangy and refreshing.
****

2003 Bianco Beneventano, 75cl, £3.29, Marks and Spencer
Soft aromatics of peach and apple blossom. The palate is dry and creamy-soft with ripe fruits making for easy drinking.
***

2002 Trinacria Bianco Sicilia, 75cl, £3.29, Waitrose
Smoky, slightly salty tang of baked parmesan, and not in a good way. Acidic finish of tart lemons.
*

2003 Snake Creek Chardonnay Semillon, 75cl, £3.99, Oddbins
Florally perfumed nose has kiwi aromas. Palate is fat and oily with lively acidity.
***

Red wines under £4

2002 Grange du midi Grenache rouge, 75cl, £3.99, Majestic Wine
A rich nose of summer pudding, which is well balanced from the plump entry to the black cherry finish.
*****

2003 Tortoiseshell Bay Mourvedre Shiraz, 75cl, £3.99, Somerfield
Earthy fruits combine with sweet tobacco tones adding a savoury element.
****

2002 Obikwa Shiraz, 75cl, £3.99, Oddbins
Soft easy nose of cinnamon and paprika. Palate is easy with a fruitcake dryness, though tannins are bitter on the finish.
***

Don Hugo Tempranillo, 75cl, £3.49, Waitrose
The palate has sweet fruit to begin with but it quickly dries leaving bitter game and chocolate tannins.
**

2003 Alta Mira Shiraz, 75cl, £3.99, Marks and Spencer
Smells of sweaty horse saddles. Palate is alcoholic and stalky on the finish.
*