'I remember coming here in the Seventies when we could scrape enough money together to afford it, for the famous Joe Allen hamburger, and spotting one or two stars from the theatre or films. I'm not sure which stars, exactly - my memory of evenings here has always been a little hazy. I started to come again regularly relatively recently, and always to sit here in this corner, at what is known as Amanda Barrie's table.

I met Amanda at Wimbledon a few years ago. I was kicking a cigarette machine that didn't work in the members' enclosure and Amanda, of whom I was a great fan on Coronation Street, came up to me and introduced herself, because she had bought a couple of my paintings. She then posed for me for a couple of years in the early Nineties, and we came here to laugh. You can smoke as much as you like. When my Jack Russell, Percy, was alive he dined here with us. He had his own chair, and he ate steak.

Not many other artists come here either, which is a good thing, because as you know the art world is not over-saturated with humour. So I come here to laugh. Amanda used to tell me stories about Corrie, now she tells hilarious stories about Bad Girls. Another great reason for coming here is Jimmy, who plays the piano. I'm a member of a few clubs, the Colony, the Chelsea Arts, but I hardly ever go. I'm not a fan of clubs really, though I like getting banned. I was banned from the Gateway Club, twice. Once for dancing suggestively. Once for taking a man in, which was against the rules, in drag. I have never painted food; empty bottles, yes. I've paid my dentist with paintings but not restaurants.'

Joe Allen, 13 Exeter Street, London WC2 (020 7836 0651)