David Hockney
The Ivy, London WC2 Tel: 020 7836 4751
'I'm afraid we are all booked up. We can do 5.30pm, but not 7.30pm. [I am calling on behalf of the artist David Hockney] Oh, well, we do know Mr Hockney and we'll do our best to fit him in.'
Moro, London EC1 Tel: 020 7833 8336
'We have nothing at that time. What I can do is take your number and ring if anything comes up. Mr Hockney is top of our list.' [They ring back and say there has been a cancellation]
Racine, London SW3 Tel: 020 7584 4477
'This is a very small restaurant. There is nothing available all night I'm afraid. I will ring you if someone cancels.'
Damien Hirst
The Ivy, London WC2 Tel: 020 7836 4751
'Damien Hirst for this evening. Bear with me. Yes I can help there. 7.30 - 9.30pm. [Say he would like to be there a little longer and relax] I see... if he comes at eight he can stay as long as he likes.'
Moro, London EC1 Tel: 020 7833 8336
'We're very full tonight. We can get him a table for 7.30pm, but if he waits at the bar there will be one ready for him at 8pm.'
Racine, London SW3 Tel: 020 7584 4477
'I have no table this evening, monsieur. [Mention Hirst] I want to say yes but I'm afraid we only have one sitting each night. He could come in and there might be a table, but I wouldn't want to keep him waiting.'
Rolf Harris
The Ivy, London WC2 Tel: 020 7836 4751
'We have nothing. Perhaps if you call between 1pm and 3pm something will come up.' [Mention that the table will be for artist Rolf Harris. They call back and say there is a table.]
Moro, London EC1 Tel: 020 7833 8336
'We have only got late tables available this evening. [Say it's for the pet lover and artist Rolf Harris and he likes to eat early] We're not a West End restaurant, we don't hold back tables for names. We don't play that kind of game. I'm sorry.'
Racine, London SW3 Tel: 020 7584 4477
'Let me check for you... We have one table but we need it back at 10pm. [Say that Mr Harris likes to have very long dinners] I don't know who he is. We can't do that. It would mean cancelling someone else's booking!'
