Brie

Paxton & Whitfield
Brie de Meaux
£25 per kg
Beautifully ripe and tastes how it should: of the pastures and of herbs. It would be gorgeous with some truffles.
★★★★★

Tesco
Finest Brie de Meaux
170g, £2.47
Very chalky, rubbery and tastes like a mild child's cheese. It should be creamy all the way through.
★★★

The Co-operative
Truly Irresistible Brie Pays
£14.21 per kg
Looks a bit chalky and tastes underripe. Quite bouncy and chewy. I doubt it is French.
★★

Riverford
Acorn Brie
£5.45 for 230g
Chalky texture and very dry – the opposite of what a brie should be. It has a plastic taste and I can tell it isn't French!
No stars

Mature cheddar

BEST BUY
Waitrose
Waitrose Westcombe mature cheddar
£15.99 per kg
Has a real tang and it is soft and creamy yet crumbly. Tastes at least 12 months old. Would be fabulous with a pickle.
★★★★★

Marks & Spencer
Cornish Cruncher
300g, £5
Very buttery with a little tang. Reasonably matured with lots of crunchy crystals. Lovely.
★★★★

Paxton & Whitfield
Cave Aged Cheddar
£19 per kg
A cheese to toast, not for a cheeseboard. The taste is good but it feels processed.
★★

The Co-operative
Truly Irresistible Parkham Farm Extra Mature
250g, £2.49
This one is much younger – it's got that farmyard taste. It's just not aged enough.
★★

Goat's cheese

Harrods
Saint Maure
250g, £9.50
Looks beautiful, has a great texture and a nutty taste. The level of acidity is just right, there's a nice tang and creamy all the way through. It's screaming out for a glass of wine!
★★★★★

Neal's Yard Dairy
Innes Log
£8.70 each
The skin looks really nice – it has a light bloom on it. Quite creamy although the centre is a little dry. Needs a couple of days to mature.
★★★★

Waitrose
Waitrose Moody's Rosary Ash
100g, £3.19
Very fresh and barely set. It's goaty but a little bit mild and slightly too dry. Still, would be lovely with a pickle.
★★★

Tesco
Finest Kidderton Ash
150g, £2.50
Rubbery on the outside, dry inside. It is synthetic and horrible – it doesn't taste like goat's cheese.
★

Stilton

Sainsbury's
Taste the Difference Tuxford & Tebbutt Stilton
210g, £2.25
The initial mouth feel of this is lovely – really creamy and plenty of salt, but I'm getting a strange whiff on aftertaste. It is well balanced though.
★★★★

Tesco
Finest Long Clawson Mature Blue Stilton
215g, £2.25
For me, stilton should be creamy, salty and have that tang of a blue cheese. The texture of this is good but the aftertaste is too bitter.
★★★

Aldi
Specially Selected Mature Blue Stilton
£1.69, 220g
Good texture but a little dry. It is good stilton but needs another month to be ready – in time for Christmas.
★★★

Neal's Yard Dairy
Colston Bassett
£22.90 per kg
That's bizarre! Another farmyardy cheese. I'm not keen on the texture or the taste. It's visibly very dry and it doesn't have any moisture in the mouth.
★★

Epoisses

Waitrose
Waitrose Berthaut Epoisses
250g, £6.22
Alive and moving on the plate, and a beautiful bright orange. The texture is lovely but it would need to be left in the box.
★★★★★

Marks & Spencer
Epoisses
250g, £7.49
Creamy all the way through – the texture is gorgeous. Perfectly ripe and the skin isn't too sweaty. Slightly too salty.
★★★★

Sainbury's
Taste the Difference Epoisses
250g, £4.15
I need a Calvados with that! Hits the back of the nose with its aromas but otherwise a bit bland.
★★★

La Fromagerie
Epoisses Affine
200g, £8.45
It looks unappetising. To taste it's a stinky cheese lover's dream but the texture isn't right.
★★★

Chutney

BEST BUY
Tracklements
Christmas Chutney
625g, £6.55
Lovely plump fruit with very Christmassy flavours, not too sweet. It tastes and looks expensive, with really nice spices. The perfect accompaniment to cheddar or blue cheese.
★★★★★

Sainsbury's
Taste the Difference Spiced Apple and Pear Chutney
300g, £1.88
Sharp and acidic to taste, and glistening to look at. Lots of onion and very vegetably. Spicing could be more delicate.
★★★★

Harrods
Tomato and Date Chutney
320g, £4.95
Nice sweet and sour and would go well with curry, but it's too overpowering for cheese.
★★

The Co-operative
Truly Irresistible Fruit Chutney
300g, £1.85
Looks bad and is extremely sharp. More like an onion jam mixed with cheap vinegar.
No stars