Lily Allen

Malmaison: Can Lily Allen order food not on the room-service menu? 'How do you mean?' She likes McDonald's. Will she be able to order some? 'I'll find out ... yes, if there's someone available, they'd be happy to go and get some for her.'

Four Seasons: Can Lily Allen order KFC from room service? 'We can do take away orders.' If she got the munchies in the middle of the night, could she have it then? 'Not in the middle of the night, but early evening would be fine.'

Hilton: Can Lily have a Burger King from room service? 'There's no fast food restaurants in the area.' Could someone get some and kept it heated for her? 'Yes, we could drive up to Inverness and get some for her.'

Sean Combs

Malmaison: Can Puff Daddy order McDonald's from room service? 'We can't do that. He can have anything from the room service menu or the brasserie.' Can you make an exception? 'Hold please ... no, we can't help with that request.'

Four Seasons: Can Puff order food not from room service? 'If the chef is willing.' KFC? 'I suppose we could arrange that.' And some girls to keep him company? 'I'll check ... We could do the food, but not the girls. We're not that kind of hotel.'

Hilton: Puff and his entourage want to order KFC from room service. Is that possible? 'No, we have our own menu.' What about some girls to keep him and his entourage company? 'Certainly not.'

Jay-Z

Malmaison: 'Jay-Z can order any food that's on the room service menu.' He likes M&M's, but only the red ones. 'Generally we accommodate those requests.' Can he order some girls to keep him company? 'You must be joking.'

Four Seasons: Jay-Z wants to order M&M's, but only the red ones. Would that be possible? 'Yes of course. Why not?' What about some girls to keep him company? 'I'm sorry, the hotel does not arrange that kind of thing.'

Hilton: Jay-Z wants to have only red M&M's. 'We have some sweets here. I'm not sure if they are M&M's though ... Oh dear, they're not.' Could you arrange red ones for him? I'll just check ... Yes, that's fine. We can do that.'

Malmaison, Charterhouse Square, London, EC1

Four Seasons, Park Lane, London, W1

Hilton, Aviemore, Inverness-shire, Scotland