Food wasn't high on the agenda at Apple. The Beatles' Savile Row headquarters in the late 60s was such a temple of cool it wasn't the done thing to be filling your face. In Derek Taylor's smoke-filled press office, you were more likely to be offered Scotch and Coke or a joint.
Except for the 1968 Christmas party. An impetuous man (when doing press at the Monterey festival he had hung up a sign that read "We can no longer relate to your problem" and abandoned his post), Derek decreed that mountains of food and drink and the largest turkey available (43lb) be ordered.
He persuaded John Lennon to be Father Christmas, so Yoko elected to be Mother Christmas. That they were both vegetarian didn't matter – this was way before high-handed backstage demands for daft foodstuffs. Hordes of children tore around, John went around in his red outfit and cotton wool beard "ho-ho-ho-ing". Children seemed mildly puzzled by Yoko, also in red, "he-he-he-ing" at his heels. Ringo and his wife Maureen were there, but not Paul and Linda. A chapter of Hell's Angels from LA dropped in (George asked everybody to be very hospitable to these "good people") who nearly derailed the party when they threw a hunger tantrum – despite the mountains of sausage rolls – because the turkey was taking so long to cook, so they spent the time chasing girls.
It's not easy telling an Angel to piss off, so I hid in the loo with a plateful of sausage rolls. Every time I eat one I still think of that mad party.