'Life is too short to drink bad wine,' runs the advertising slogan of the Austrian winemaker, Willi Opitz. Too right it is. I've never been very good at maths, but after a slightly morbid conversation with a friend the other night, I sat down with a calculator to work out how many bottles of wine I could reasonably expect to drink at home before I'm incapable of pulling a cork. Assuming I live to the age of 75 - and you never know what fate has got in its back pocket - I reckon I'll open another 6,240 bottles before I shuffle towards the great tasting room in the sky.
If you love wine, that's not a lot of wine. I've already got 260 cases stored in my cellar or with various merchants around the country. Assuming I drink all of those - and some of them might be corked or just plain disgusting by the time I get to them - that means I only need to buy another 260 cases to see me through to the end. You see what I mean about not wasting your time drinking bad wine?
Bad wine is such a subjective term that I should probably give you a definition. For me, a waste-of-time wine is something that exhibits no character or sense of place. If a wine tastes as if it could have been made in a laboratory, then it's got no chance of making my final 6,240. I sample plenty of things like that in the course of my day job (cue the world's smallest violin), so why drink them at home?
I also, of course, get to taste the occasional fine wine. This doesn't mean that I drink poncey stuff at home. It's true that a disproportionate amount of my income goes on wine, but I'm as keen to find bargains as the rest of you. Why spend £80 a bottle on Grand Cru Burgundy if I come across something from Chile or New Zealand that tastes as good and costs a quarter of the price? I even buy the occasional very cheap bottle (we're talking £3.49 or less here) if I think it's got some personality.
The restaurant critics I know eat simply on their nights off. So it is with wine writers, or at least this wine writer. I'm happy to open special bottles when friends come round for dinner - there's nothing sadder than Norman No Mates drinking great wine on his own - but most of the time I'm more than happy with medium-priced wines. By that, I mean wines (excluding champagne) between £7 and £15. That's where the best value is to be found in the UK. On holiday in France, I spend considerably less.
So what are my favourite producing countries? France comes top by miles, followed (in order) by Spain, Italy, Austria, Germany, Portugal, Argentina, Chile, South Africa, New Zealand and Australia. That's most of the world covered, I know, but as a wine buff I want to experience the maximum number of styles and flavours. It's a depressing thought, but by the time you read this, I may have only 6,228 to go.
The expert's choice: Tim Atkin's definitive dozen.
RED: 2004 Vineyard X Garnacha Campo de Borja
(£3.99, or £2.66 if you buy three, Threshers)
- This is my everyday glugging red, a soft, warmly spicy Garnacha from the up-and-coming Cambo de Borja region in Spain.
RED: 2003 Luccio Red, Pikes, Clare Valley
(£7.89, stockists from Seckford Wine Agencies, 01206 231188)
- It's unusual to find an Aussie wine made from Sangiovese and Cabernet Sauvignon with a little Petit Verdot, but this complex, lightly oaked blend is delicious.
RED: 2003 Château Liversan, Domaine Lapalu, Haut Médoc
(£9.75, Charles Taylor Wines, 0207 928 8151)
- This is young for a red Bordeaux, but the warmth of the vintage has produced a textured, Merlot-based red that's smooth, polished and drinkable now.
WHITE: 2004 Grüner Veltliner, Bergdistel Tegernseerhof, Wachau
(£11.99, Oddbins)
- You have to take your time to get the most out of this subtle Austrian white, as it really opens in the glass. Zesty and white pepper-scented with a creamy finish.
WHITE: 2004 Lagar de Cervera, Rías Baixas
(£10, Laymont & Shaw, 01209 310770)
- It's great to see a Spanish producer bottling an Albariño under screwcap at last. This is perfumed and zesty with an undertone of mandarin orange.
WHITE: 2004 Le Ciste, Côtes du Roussillon Villages, Eric Laguerre
(from £10.99, stockists from Richards Walford, 01780 460451)
- The latest brilliant dry white from the Roussillon, this mealy, subtly oaked blend is supremely elegant for a southern French wine.
RED: 2003 Saint Chinian, Mas au Schiste, Domaine Rimbert
(£11, FWW Wines, 0208 567 3731)
- It's not just the pun that appeals to me about this witty Carignan-based red. It's the perfume, the sweet tannins, the abundance of red fruits and the length of the wine.
WHITE: 2004 Dr Loosen Wehlener Sonnenuhr Riesling Kabinett, Mosel
(£11.99, stockists from Siegel Wine Agencies, 01256 701101)
- Ernie Loosen's featherweight Mosel Riesling is minerally and medium dry with crisp apple fruit.
SHERRY: 1842 Valdespino Solera Oloroso sherry
(£11.99 per half bottle, Waitrose)
- OK, you only get a half for your money, but what a half. This nutty, mature, slightly sweet Oloroso is a wonderful old sherry.
WHITE: 2005 Raats Chenin Blanc, Stellenbosch
(£12.99, stockists from Orbital Wines, 020 7802 5415)
- Chenin Blanc from South Africa is not yet as well known as the best stuff from the Loire, but it should be. This honeyed, creamy, stylishly oaked dry white is amazing.
RED: 2004 Crozes-Hermitage, Alain Graillot
(£13.50, Yapp Brothers 01747 860423)
- I drink more of this wine than any red in the world. This is just the most heavenly Syrah with notes of liquorice, blackberries and pepper spice.
WHITE: 2004 Kumeu River Chardonnay, Mate's Vineyard
(from £20, stockists from The Boxford Wine Co, 01787 210187)
- This is slightly outside my normal price range for everyday drinking, but it's the best Chardonnay I've ever had from New Zealand. White Burgundy producers beware!
