7.5/10
Telephone: 020-7636 1178.
Address: 34 Charlotte Street, London W1.
Open: Lunch, Mon-Fri, 12.15-2.30pm; dinner, Mon-Sat, 6.15-10.45pm.
Price: Menus Lunch, £24.50 for two courses, £29.50 for three; à la carte, £45 for two courses, £55.50 for three.
No wheelchair access or disabled WC.
In the normal course of events, one thing to which the big-name chef is seldom averse is the rave review. These are not the normal course of events, however, and I am no normal reviewer. I am, in fact, the Angel of Death, so I hope Shane Osborn will take what follows as an act of mercy.
Osborn cooks at Pied À Terre, and writing elsewhere last year I lavished praise on him and his restaurant. Within months, it had burned to the ground. Without wishing to seem boastful, this was nothing. Usually, it's much quicker than that. Yang Sing in Manchester's Chinatown followed the example of the char siu and became barbecued soon after a paean from me. The Havelock Tavern in west London went up in smoke within weeks of a glowing write-up. And the New End in Hampstead lived up to its name by closing (cash flow rather than inferno) the day before my rave appeared.
Now that he's finally reopened, then, the last thing Osborn needs is the paraffin-and-Swan-Vesta combination pack this reviewer's favour appears to be. And he isn't going to get it - there's no need for him to check the smoke detector batteries, because the critical temperature won't rise above the lukewarm.
Why I liked Pied À Terre so much less the second time than the first I'm not absolutely sure (the long, narrow, cramped room looks the same, with a similarly sombre colour scheme), but the service and the food seemed far fussier than I remembered. There must be those who appreciate the poncery that goes with two Michelin stars - amuse bouches at the beginning, a "pre-dessert" involving "coconut foam" towards the end, overelaborate presentation and service - but increasingly it gets right on my top ones. I wish they'd spend the money on bigger portions or cutting the mark-up on the wine instead.
What makes it especially irksome here is that Osborn is a brilliant chef, as evidenced by the signature dish of scallops ceviche with avocado, crème fraîche purée and sesame filo pastry styled after a 1980s Ascot ladies' day hat (from the dearer and longer set menu, at £45 for two courses) with which two of us began - one thought it sublime, the other too busy, but it was a dish that left no doubt as to the chef's technical mastery. My roast quail legs (from the briefer cheapo menu at £24.50 for two courses), with a thick, verdant parsley sauce like the liquor served with jellied eels, were perfectly cooked but erred towards the bland.
By the time we'd done in a bottle of a truly delicious Aussie shiraz (Shaw & Smith, £45, from a grand, two-volume list), we felt emboldened to squidge up closer on the enormous semicircular banquette and so negate the need for semaphore. Now that I was able to hear my friends, it was clear we were heading for a split decision. One loved his roast end of salt marsh lamb with roasted peppers and too much else besides to list here, saying that, rather than swamping it, the rosemary and aubergine caviar sauce brought out the flavour of the meat. The other said that his roasted John Dory fillet with a fennel and dill purée, crab sausage and tomato and aniseed vinaigrette had a fine taste, "but I'm not sure how much I'm tasting the fish. They won't allow anything to taste of itself. This is pestered food."
My roast chicken with truffle-infused mash and trompette mushrooms was simpler but unmemorable, so, forced to use the casting vote, I'd have to go with the latter. For all the splendour of the puds - a plum tart and a majestic "whole roasted" banana (amazingly generous of them not to halve it, seeing as it cost just £10.50), both with ice cream - there seems an oddly late-90s country house hotel flavour to the operation, what with all the square plates, the drizzling of mysterious things on them, and the use of so many ingredients and fancy touches that the essence of the dishes gets lost in all the kerfuffle.
There is no doubt that this is a very serious, smart and professional joint that will delight those who take pleasure delight in Michelin luxury and elaboration. On this early comeback form, however, Pied À Terre is doing little more than your reviewer to set the house on fire.
