'I'm a Scorpio, and Scorpios devour their food. As Gordon Ramsay once said, "The only way to keep Winner happy is to make sure there's something in front of him all the time". People think my table manners are atrocious, but that doesn't concern me at all. Food should be part of life's enjoyment, but it's not essential to make a big performance about it. To me the words "fine dining" are horrific.
I start every day with mango, grapes, cherries, melon and clementines, served on a Georgian silver tray. They are prepared by the housekeeper and eaten at my bedroom desk. I'm a bit grumpy until I have my mid-morning coffee with Scotch. I drink Blue Mountain ground coffee, which I do the proper way: you put some in a mug and then you pour on water and then pour it into another mug through a sieve. In the other mug I put some crystals of sugar, milk and very good single malt Scotch. That cheers me up no end. My whole personality changes. I work from my own house (I have 10 staff here and extra staff nearby) so I usually have lunch at home. Something traditional like shepherd's pie or fish pie, again, prepared by my housekeeper.
In the evening I'll have a very large salad, and something simple like a toasted sausage sandwich. The sausages come from R Allen in Mayfair. I rarely cook but I'm capable of grilling steak and I make the best scrambled eggs in the world. I was told by Ava Gardner that Frank Sinatra used to make them this way. You whisk the eggs strenuously with a lot of milk and you put the result in a very hot, buttered frying pan and in a minute or less you plonk them on some toast, preferably with some beluga caviar.
A real treat would be a wonderful treacle pudding. Also a plate of sausages, baked beans, eggs, grilled tomatoes and bacon makes a very good main course. I'd be very happy to have that as my final Winner's Dinner. I'd have caviar separately: you can't have caviar with sausages.'
Homemade shepherd's pie
Nutritionally speaking, home-cooked food generally beats packet stuff. But the big helping of mashed potato could induce surges of insulin (spuds release sugar relatively quickly into the bloodstream), leading to surplus weight around the middle of the body.
Salad
Many practitioners of natural medicine believe that the digestive capacity is generally at a low point at the end of the day, so eating a light meal based on salad is a good idea as it is less likely to overtax the digestive system.
Mango, grapes, cherries, melon and clementines
Michael's medley of fruit in the morning will help to supply him with a wide range of nutrients that are likely to have health-preserving and life-extending benefits.
Coffee with whisky, sugar and milk
Coffee is not necessarily the devil's brew, and has been linked to a reduced risk of diabetes, but any benefits are likely to be undone by the added Scotch and sugar.
Toasted sausage sandwich
It's good to see Michael opting for a top-notch banger that is less likely to be full of the cheap cuts, extraneous body parts and rusk commonly found in economy varieties. However, sausages tend to be very rich in salt, an excess of which can push up blood pressure. And bread, like potatoes, tends to induce excesses of insulin (see shepherd's pie).
Scrambled eggs with toast
The high cholesterol content of eggs causes them to be viewed in a dim light, although studies suggest that their intake has relatively little bearing on our risk of death. My preference would be for Michael to opt for eggs rich in omega-3 fats (available in supermarkets), as these may have positive benefits for his health and to substitute the toast for grilled tomatoes.
Homemade fish pie
Not a bad dish, but it would be made nutritionally better with a side order of fresh vegetables, broccoli, carrots or spinach, say, and the inclusion of oily fish such as salmon or mackerel.
Sausages, baked beans, eggs, tomatoes and bacon
Like sausages, bacon tends to be very salty and may also be preserved with the chemical sodium nitrite, which has been linked to an increased risk of stomach cancer. On the plus side, eggs and tomatoes are relatively healthy, and the baked beans (minus the sugar and salt) may have some positive benefits for Michael's heart.
Beluga caviar
The high salt content of this food could contribute to high blood pressure, but as it is fabulously expensive it is unlikely that even someone of Michael's means will eat enough of it to present much of a problem.
Treacle pudding
This sugar-drenched food based on white flour is just the sort of thing that can cause insulin levels to skyrocket, an effect which will, among other things, tend to cause fat to be dumped around Michael's middle. Other problems associated with a glut of insulin include high blood pressure, high blood fat levels and a tendency to diabetes. Definitely a food for someone with a bit of a death wish.
· Michael Winner's Winner Takes All: A Life of Sorts is published by Robson books, £16.99. To order for £14.99 plus p & p call the Observer Book Service on 0870 836 0885