So, I finally ate the dish that recently caused what passes for excitement in the land of the restaurant critic. I went to the Dean Street Townhouse in Soho, and ate its mince and boiled potatoes. The professionals fell into three camps on this, the house dish. Some couldn't see the point of it, and said so; some liked it, and said so; and some obviously thought the former, but wrote the latter to appear knowing and – oh, this is funny – cool. What did I think? It was fine: tasty, filling, comforting. Mostly, though, it made me think of all the other dishes I'd like to see returned to menus in a blaze of glory. Here's a (deadly serious, utterly non-ironic) top 10.
1 Old-fashioned butter lettuce
In Second Helpings of Roast Chicken, Simon Hopkinson bemoans the rise of the "interesting" leaf, praising instead the round English lettuce. He then provides an excellent recipe for an English salad with homemade salad cream. He's right. Rocket has its place, but there are times when I long for the sweet, yielding market garden lettuce of yesterday. It tastes of summer, and of childhood, and has no need of chlorine and daffy packaging.
2 Melba toast
I'm keen on butter, and what better garnish for it than a brittle triangle of Melba toast? Once, Escoffier's invention was standard at "posh" restaurants. Not now. In London, it's already extinct. In the countryside, it clings on, but you must know where to look. Where exactly? OK, between ourselves, you will find it served at dinner at the Rose & Crown in Romaldkirk, County Durham.
3 Brown bread ice cream
Amazing how few people even know what this is. "Do you mean bread and butter pudding?" Er, no. "Do you mean brown betty?" Nope. A (possibly) Victorian invention, its secret ingredient is breadcrumbs mixed with sugar and caramelised in the oven. Imagine a slice of good brown bread slathered in unsalted butter. Now imagine a bowl of good vanilla ice cream. Now imagine a marriage of the two, and hold that thought while you dig out your ice-cream maker.
4 Steak Diane
A lot of the steak served in British restaurants is tasteless. You chew and chew, and wish you'd ordered fish. Or shoe leather. Why don't these establishments bring back steak Diane? Like good underwear, shallots, cream, and brandy can hide a multitude of sins.
5 Mushrooms à la Grecque and eggs mayonnaise
My stepmother, M, made superb mushrooms à la Grecque. They tasted of tomatoes and soapy coriander seeds, and we ate them with warmed pittas to mop up the oily juices. She also served eggs mayonnaise, prettily dusted with paprika. Why do people sneer at eggs mayonnaise? It's the school trip effect. Those of us whose mothers packed egg sandwiches for the bus to Alton Towers still haven't come to terms with the ignominy of the stink.
6 Junket
Junket is sweetened milk set with rennet, which you can buy in any supermarket. Top with nutmeg. If you want swanky, add brandy. If you want to gild the lily, make like Keith Floyd and cover with clotted cream before serving.
7 Pease pudding
A solid purée made from split yellow peas cooked in salty bacon stock. My preferred way of eating it – yes, I am dead common – is sliced, with a bit of ham, in a sandwich.
8 Mousse
Fish mousses are everywhere. But you search in vain for a sweet one. I like cool, slippery orange mousse, served from a crystal bowl, pouring cream on the side. The good news is that Birds Eye has revived Supermousse. I used to eat a raspberry ripple Supermousse every week at my Granny Cooke's. Yum.
9 Rissoles and potted cheese
Together because they are both made with leftovers, and are intensely flavourful, uniquely piquant, devilishly moreish. And they speak to our austere times.
10 Meat loaf
"Meat loaf," notes Alan Davidson in The Oxford Companion to Food, "can embody the sort of rusticity that the word 'peasant' evokes, but can also exhibit the kind of refinement associated with bourgeoise cookery. Its range, however, does not extend into the realm of haute cuisine." I'm not sure I can add anything to this lofty definition, save for to state the obvious: it is good with gravy, mash, and some peppery, buttered greens.
