It’s great winning awards for the restaurants, but about four years ago it dawned on me that I wasn’t going to get a Dad of the Year gong any time soon. That’s when I started rethinking the whole work/life balance thing. As a cook, if you want to get ahead, win stars and all that, so long as you put in the time and effort, you’ll get there; it took me a bit of time to realise the same applies to parenthood.

I was so wrapped up in work that all I ever thought about was the job; I left all the kids’ stuff to Irha. Now I don’t miss a thing. That’s one benefit of being the boss, I suppose: I can clear the diary if the girls have something on. It’s so worth it, too: I’ll never forget Keziah’s face the first time I turned up to one of her cello recitals.

Having said that, during the week it’s still mainly about work. We have breakfast together – something easy and quick like cereal – but that’s it. Unless I’m abroad, I’m in the kitchen 70-75% of the time, and the dinner shift at Pollen Street doesn’t finish until 11-11.30pm. After that, I’ll pop by one of the other restaurants, to say hello, check that everything’s going OK. I’m rarely home much before 1am.

But these days Saturdays and Sundays are proper family time. That’s one reason we don’t open on Sundays: everyone needs rest, time with family, friends, and chefs and front-of-house are no different. At home, we always sit at the table; there are no TV dinners. The table’s laid properly, too – that’s Keziah’s job; Jemimah’s still a bit young. More than anything, I want my girls to be able to cook. It shouldn’t be aspirational, it’s a necessity, a life skill; if you don’t know your way round a kitchen, you can’t feed yourself.

The girls are like any other kids – they love pasta, pizza, ketchup – but I also show them how to make pizza and pasta from scratch. We do that together, so hopefully they’ll get a feel for it. Like all families, we take the odd short cut, but ultimately it’s about teaching them how to balance a meal: if they have a slice of pizza, they also have to have a salad, and they understand why. We try to avoid having bread in the house for similar reasons: that processed stuff is as addictive as fizzy drinks, so we save bread for when we’re at a restaurant and can eat the proper stuff.

We always go out for dinner as a family on Saturday night. Locally, that’ll mean Franco Manca for pizza – the girls love the chewy sourdough bases (mum and dad are fans, too) – or the Paddyfield, a Vietnamese/Thai joint, or Bistro Union or The Dairy up in Clapham; or we’ll head to town, somewhere like Barrafina, Bubbledogs or Roka. One advantage of being known for the day job is we tend to get spoiled.

I suppose taking the girls out to eat is me wanting them to appreciate the industry that’s given them the life they have. I’d hate them to be the kind of kids who walk into a restaurant with their parents and act as if they own the place. Thankfully, our two have great manners. They’ve got pretty advanced palates for their ages, and Irha’s great at getting them to try new things – much better than me, anyway. She had them both licking raw oyster the other week. Both of them love sushi, and Keziah’s developed a taste for spicy food, which is a big landmark; a year ago she’d have run a mile from a chilli.

They’re so different from me at that age – I didn’t even set foot in a restaurant until I was 16 – but there is one thing I can’t stand: the length of time it takes them to eat anything drives me bananas.

The Athertons’ adobo

This classic Philippines dish is a firm family favourite. Irha grew up on adobo, and our children are now doing the same.

Serves 4
pork 350g, diced (go for a cut like shoulder)
chicken 350g, diced (a mixture of chopped bone-in thigh and breast give a rich flavour)
oil for frying
soy sauce 220ml
rice-wine or white-wine vinegar 500ml
chicken stock 500ml
garlic 1 clove, peeled and crushed
ginger 1cm piece, peeled and finely grated
spring onions 2, chopped
ground black pepper 2 tbsp
bay leaves 4
caster sugar 1 tbsp
steamed rice to serve

Combine all the ingredients bar the rice in a big bowl, cover and leave to marinate in the fridge overnight.

Next day, lift out the meat with a slotted spoon. Heat a little oil in a large pot, then brown the meat all over – do this in batches. Return the meat to the pot, pour over the marinade and bring to a boil. Turn down the heat to a simmer and braise gently for an hour, until the meat is tender.

Lift the pork and chicken from the pot with a slotted spoon, and keep warm. Turn up the heat under the sauce and boil to reduce right down to a coating consistency. Stir the meat back into the sauce, to warm through, and serve hot with steamed rice.