Christmas essentials – by Hawksmoor’s Richard Turner

Smoked salmon

BEST BUY
Asda Extra Special Rich & Intense Scottish Smoked Salmon
120g, £4.80, asda.com
Delicious. Brilliant texture, subtle smoke, perfect seasoning. I want to eat more of that.
★★★★★

Aldi Specially Selected Whisky Infused Smoked Salmon
120g, £3.99, aldi.co.uk
A little firm and tiny bit rubbery. Quite a complex flavour going on, loads of smoke. Very interesting.
★★★★

Tesco Finest Scottish Smoked Salmon
100g, £4, tesco.com
It’s a little rubbery. The flavour is good, the smoke is good, seasoning is very good. Texture: not so good.
★★★

Morrisons The Best Scottish Smoked Salmon Slices with Speyside Whisky
120g, £4.50, morrisons.com
Nice colour. The texture looks OK but it isn’t. The whisky I quite like.
★★★

Pigs in Blankets

Aldi Specially Selected Sausages Wrapped in Bacon
10, 210g, £2.19, aldi.co.uk
Great spicing. It’s not overly blended, it’s minced and not bound too much, the right amount of filler.
★★★

Marks & Spencer The Collection British Outdoor Bred Pigs in Blankets
16, 380g, £5, available in store at Marks and Spencer from December
I am tasting pepper and quite a lot of salt. Pretty standard.
★★★

Asda Extra Special Pigs in Blankets
10, 210g, £2.98, asda.com
Synthetic-tasting skin. Well seasoned. Tastes like a cheap sausage. The bacon is neither here nor there.
★★

Sainsbury’s Taste the Difference British Pigs in Blankets
12, 250g, £3.50, sainsburys.co.uk
Truffle? Mushroom? This is peculiar. Texture is fine, bacon is fine but it tastes of mushrooms to me.
★★

Cheese straws

Marks & Spencer Cheese Straws
125g, £1.50, available in store at Marks & Spencer
It’s crisp, flaky... Almost slightly croissant-y, but crunchy. Mmmm that is a texture! Subtle cheese flavour. Just knockout, a winner just on texture.
★★★★

Sainsbury’s Taste the Difference Parmesan & Garlic Twists
125g, £1.70, sainsburys.co.uk
Great texture, good crisp snap. Not overly cheesy … Oooh! There’s a herb in there as well, can’t tell you what it is …
★★★

Waitrose 1 Pecorino Cheese Straws
100g, £2.99, waitrose.com
Honestly I couldn’t tell you what that cheese is. Very stale-tasting flavour for me, like stale parmesan maybe.
★★

Co-op Cheese Twists
125g, £1.19, available in store at Co-op
Looks too much like a baked breadstick to me. Nice flavour and texture, but it’s a breadstick. ★

Glazed ham

Wenlock Edge Farm Half Family Ham
£12.50/kg, wenlockedgefarm.co.uk
A properly cured and roasted ham. Tastes like it’s from a very good animal that’s been reared over a period a time. It’s delicious. A labour of love.
★★★★

Forman & Field Marmalade Glazed Alderton Mini Ham
1.4kg, £29.95, formanandfield.com
Nice and tender. The only thing letting it down is the animal – the fat layer is too thin. Lovely glaze.
★★★

Dukeshill Boneless St George’s Ham
1.2kg, £45, dukeshillham.co.uk
Pretty firm, no real fat on it. It’s alright… Not salty enough. The glaze is a nice marmalade.
★★

Marks & Spencer The Collection British Sweetcure Ham with Mulled Wine and Plum Glaze
1.1kg, £30, marksandspencer.com
Chewy and dense. Strange spices. Presentation is overkill.
★

Stuffing

Waitrose Entertaining Honey Chestnut, Leek & Pancetta Stovetop Stuffing
350g, £4.99, waitrose.com
Chunky; woefully under seasoned. Each component is individual and separate.
★★

Tesco Family Festive Christmas Tree Stuffing
494g, £4.50, tesco.com
A bit more stuffing-y, still overly sausaged - it could be looser. The flavour is too sweet for my liking.
★★

Aldi Specially Selected Pork & Gingerbread Stuffing Portions
300g, £2.49, aldi.co.uk
Too firm to the bite. Sweet. A ball of sausage meat with a bit of rosemary and an apricot. It’s not anything I’d ever eat.
★★

Asda Extra Special Pork, Sage & Caramelised Onion Stuffing
340g, £2.98, asda.com
Seems overly emulsified. I’d call this a tray of sausage.
★

Bread Sauce

Lidl Deluxe Bread Sauce
300g, £1.49, available in store at Lidl from December 18
Very good consistency. Nice spices - nutmeg or mace. I like it. It’s exactly what bread sauce is: a foil for rich meat. Absolutely fine.
★★★

Marks & Spencer Bread Sauce
300g, £3, marksandspencer.com
The texture is a tiny bit thin. Strange. Heavy on the nutmeg. I can’t taste any onion.
★★

Morrisons The Best Bread Sauce
300g, £1.50, morrisons.com
Good consistency. Slightly lumpy, which I think it should be. Awful flavour.
★★

Heston from Waitrose Celeriac & Bread Sauce
200g, £2.49, waitrose.com
This doesn’t seem like bread sauce to me. Way too thin, it’s watery, but after a bit of time it thickens up.
★

Cheese and buscuits – by cookery writer Olia Hercules

Cheddar

Tesco Finest Coastal Bite Truckle
200g, £2.50, tesco.com
I quite like this. Creamy, fresh, good acidity and lovely crystals that aren’t jarring. I can’t decide if the wax is sleek or unnecessary.
★★★★

Asda Extra Special Wyke Farm Vintage Cheddar
200g, £2.15, asda.com
Nice crystals. High acidity, but I like that. A bit nutty. This is a crowd pleaser.
★★★

Waitrose 1 Keen’s Mature Cheddar
220g, £3.49, waitrose.com
A nice looking wedge of cheese. It does have some crystals. Flavour is comme ci, comme ça.
★★

Sainsbury’s Taste the Difference Cave Aged Farmhouse Mature Cheddar
400g, £4, sainsburys.co.uk
It looks a bit plasticky – too smooth and shiny. The flavour is weirdly satisfying.
★

Stilton

Stilton Aldi Specially Selected Mature Blue Stilton
454g, £2.99, aldi.co.uk
Sweet and fruity in flavour. The rind is kind of mushroomy in a good way.
★★★★★

Co-op Irresistible Blue Stilton
230g, £2.75, available in store at the Co-op
A bit bland, high acidity. Not in love with this. The blue looks nice. The bit next to the rind is quite gooey and waxy and bitter.
★★

Sainsbury’s Taste the Difference Tuxford & Tebbutt Blue Stilton
210g, £2.50, sainsburys.co.uk
The blue is super mushroomy and foresty. I’m not entirely enjoying it. It’s soft and a bit sweaty.
★★

Asda Extra Special Blue Stilton Cheese
220g, £2.20, asda.com
Looks like there’s not enough blue in it. Tastes better than it looks. It’s a bit meh. The rind is a little chalky and dry.
★

Camembert

Co-op Irresistible Camembert
250g, £2.50, available in store at Co-op
Good mouthfeel, and still very approachable. Nice looking rind with brown speckles, textured, looks impressive.
★★★★

Marks & Spencer French Camembert
250g, £2.85, available in store at Marks and Spencer
An inoffensive, accessible version. Nice tanginess, but not masses of flavour.
★★★

Tesco Finest Camembert
250g. £2.25, tesco.com
Tastes a bit plasticky. I’m not the biggest fan of this one, not much flavour. Pale rind with a bitterness that is not all pleasant.
★★

Waitrose 1
Camembert de Normandie
250g, £4.49, waitrose.com
It’s chalky in the middle, and sour. Does not taste right at all.
★

Ash goat’s cheese

BEST BUY
Highfield Farm Dairy Bosworth Ash Log
approx. 150g, £9.95, pongcheese.co.uk
Tasty, one for the cheeseboard. Good acidity, great texture, not too cloying.
★★★★★

Waitrose 1 Moody’s Rosary Ash
100g, £3.89, waitrose.com
Wow! Super creamy and fresh. I’m enjoying the texture a lot, very moussey.
★★★★

Cerney Cheese Cerney Ash
250g, £11.50, paxtonandwhitfield.co.uk
Looks impressive, super ashy, it would make a nice Instagram picture. Mmmm ... Fruity, mild. High acidity, which I like.
★★★

Taste the Difference Kidderton Ash Goats’ Cheese
150g, £3.25, sainsburys.co.uk
It’s gooey … It’s OK. Easy on the ash. The rind is a bit bitter, I don’t mind the texture. I couldn’t eat a lot of it.
★

Piccalilli

Daylesford Organic Piccalilli
180g, £5.99, daylesford.com
The colour looks good. The vegetables are crunchy, the balance is great and the consistency of the sauce is correct. It ticks all the boxes.
★★★★★

Rosebud Preserves Traditional Piccalilli
198g, £3.60, rosebudpreserves.co.uk
I like that the vegetables are really chunky, but it just looks like a caponata. It’s as sweet as a caponata.
★

Tesco Sweet Piccalilli
360g, 95p, tesco.com
You can’t tell what the vegetables are, everything just looks luminous yellow. Sickly. Really gloopy. Nice crunch on the cauliflower.
(no stars)

Selfridges Selection Piccalilli
180g, £6.99, selfridges.com available from November 27.
The sauce has a slightly grainy texture. Too acidic! It’s making me wince. The vegetables are overcooked as well.
(no stars)

Oatcakes

Asda Chosen By You Original Scottish Oatcakes
250g, 59p, asda.com
Lovely break. I love the texture, the flavour is subtle but I don’t mind that. Nice vehicle for a cheese.
★★★★★

Co-op Rough Oatcakes
300g, £1.15, available in store at Co-op
Bit dry, almost tastes of toasted seeds. But I like it.
★★★★

Sainsbury’s Rough Oatcakes
250g, 90p, sainsburys.co.uk
Bland and dry. I wouldn’t put that on my cheeseboard. I don’t like the colour, it’s too even.
★

Selfridges Selection Scottish Savoury Oatcakes
200g, £3.49, selfridges.com
Bland blandiness from Blandsville. Texture is nice and crumbly but it tastes undercooked and flavourless.
(no stars)

Cakes, puddings and pies – by Quo Vadis’s Jeremy Lee

Panettone

Loison Classic Panettone
750g, £21.50, souschef.co.uk
Looks like a basilica. Good dry bread - none of that wet stuff. A very nice panettone. ★★★★

Morrisons The Best Fruit Panettone
750g, £8, morrisons.com
Nicely fruited; candied peel, lots of raisins. There’s an attempt at something good but on the whole a bit squidgy. Not evil.
★★★

Crosta & Mollica Classic Panettone
500g, £8.49, ocado.com
Nice and egg-yolky yellow, which is pleasing. Good ratio of fruit to cake. Looks better than it tastes.
★★★

Harvey Nichols Panettone
500g, £8.95, harveynichols.com
A little bit damp looking, texture is a bit soft. The candied peel is very tough. For a Boxing Day breakfast it will do the job in a pinch.
★★

Stollen

Selfridges Selection Marzipan Stollen
550g, £16.99, selfridges.com
It has that slightly more homemade texture. This will toast better, then you could douse it in marmalade.
★★★

Konditor & Cook Stollen
750g, £22, konditorandcook.com
This is quite spicy and far too sweet, which slightly spoils it. It would have done very well but for the sugar.
★★

Sainsbury’s Taste the Difference Fruit & Nut Topped Stollen
540g, £7, sainsburys.co.uk
It tastes like nasty rum with a bit of bad brandy in it. My taste buds are in absolute revolt.
(no stars)

Morrisons In-Store Baked Stollen
approx. 440g, £1.70, morrisons.com
It looks like the saddest calzone I’ve ever seen. Carpet has more texture than this and I’d rather eat carpet.
(no stars)

Mince pies

BEST BUY

Konditor & Cook Traditional Mince Pies
6, £10, konditorandcook.com
Has that lovely WI look about it. Slender, nice thin pastry. The mincemeat tastes fresh and sweet, like your favourite aunt has come to visit.
★★★★★

Marks & Spencer The Collection Mince Pies
6, £2.50, available in store at Marks and Spencer
Golden brown. The snowflake on top gives me pause for thought. Well filled.
★★★

Tesco Finest All Butter Pastry Deep Filled Mince Pies
6, £2, tesco.com
Too much pastry, the lid is too thick and the mincemeat tastes very jammy.
★★

Aldi Specially Selected Exquisite Mince Pies
6, £2.99, aldi.co.uk
Blonde, boring and curiously pitted. Nasty looking mincemeat. I’d say that was made by a very angry nun.
(no stars)

Yule logs

Waitrose Red Velvet Tree Trunk Cake
979g, £15, waitrose.com available from December 15
In fact it’s a chocolate stump. Terrible texture. The cake itself is masked by insane amounts of not too shabby chocolate icing, but it’s very sweet.
★★★

Marks & Spencer The Collection Hand Decorated Luxury Salted Caramel Chocolate Yule Log
660g, £15, marksandspencer.com
Like something you’d find in a very posh chocolate box.
★★

Lidl Deluxe Luxury Hand Finished Festive Yule Log
476g, £3.49, lidl.co.uk
Some pathetic attempt at death by chocolate which I don’t like at all. Pure sugar. Do not touch.
(not stars)

Tesco Finest Belgian Chocolate, Caramel & Honeycomb Buche De Noel
780g, £12, tesco.com
My shaving foam tastes better than that. It is aerated halitosis made with the worst drinking powder.
(no stars)

Christmas cake

Co-op Round Holly Iced Xmas Cake
907g, £6, available in store at Co-op
The ribbons are superfluous. This is like real fruit cake. Were it not for this crap icing, you’d have a very nice cake … Nevertheless, a winner.
★★★★

Waitrose Christmas Jewelled Fruit & Nut Cake
965g, £13, waitrose.com
Would benefit enormously from all the fruit and nut on top being in it. Style over substance.
★★★

Morrisons The Best Poinsettia Christmas Cake
1.5kg, £12, morrisons.com
The look confounds Christmas and a wedding cake – a bit peculiar. Too much cake, not enough icing. But the cake is nice and moist.
★★

Selfridges Selection Artisan Christmas Cake
1.3kg, £49.99, selfridges.com available from November 27
If I wanted a Polo mint for Christmas, I would go to a garage to buy one.
★

Christmas puddings

Sainsbury’s Taste the Difference 18 Month Matured Cognac Laced Christmas Pudding
900g, £9, sainsburys.co.uk
Smells spicy and fruity. Beautifully rich, nice and soft and yielding. I like that one a lot.
★★★★★

Aldi Specially Selected Exquisite Vintage Pudding
907g, £9.99, aldi.co.uk
Looks like a cannonball but in actual fact it’s not the lead weight you expect. Not half bad.
★★

Waitrose 1 12 Month Matured Remy Martin Christmas Pudding
907g, £12, waitrose.com
Tastes of nothing. It lost the will to live a long time ago. Very humdrum.
★★

Betty’s Classic Christmas Pudding
800g, £15.95, bettys.co.uk
There is no redemption here. Unfruited, unloved, untextured, unperfumed, unspiced.
(no stars)

Chocolates – by Great British Menu’s Andi Oliver

Chocolate coated almonds

Selfridges Selection Milk Chocolate Caramelised Almonds
325g, £14.99, selfridges.com
All truffley and inviting. The nut is lovely, when you bite into it there’s a crisp little crackle. Pretty moreish.
★★★★★

Hotel Chocolat Milk Chocolate Salted Caramelised Almonds
130g, £5.50, hotelchocolat.com
Very smooth; the nut is a really good texture. A go-er.
★★★★

Betty’s Milk Chocolate Almonds
110g, £5.50, bettys.co.uk
Reminds me of Saturday morning pictures as a kid. Shiny, nice crack. The chocolate isn’t great quality. A serviceable nut.
★★★

Favorina Milk Chocolate Coated Almonds With Cinnamon
200g, £1.99, lidl.co.uk
Looks a bit like animal droppings. The nut is a bit spongy. A slight acrid aftertaste.
★

Salted caramels

Deluxe Salted Caramel Truffles in Hat Box
140g, £3.99, available in store at Lidl
A little bit daunting; you have to commit to it. It tastes more like a straight-up caramel. The dusty sugar is a bit superfluous.
★★★

Charbonnel et Walker Milk Sea Salt Caramel Truffles
120g, £14.50, charbonnel.co.uk
I quite like salty, but there’s loads in that. The ratio of centre to filling is quite good. ★★★

Co-op Irresistible Salted Caramel Truffles
140g, £5, available in store at Co-op
Looks more like a Christmas tree ornament. Starts well, then you lose love for it. ★★

Sainsburys Taste the Difference Belgian Milk Chocolate Salted Caramels
140g, £5.25, sainsburys.co.uk
Nice saltiness. I’m not that keen on the chocolate itself. Gets overpoweringly sweet. ★★

Dark chocolate truffles

The Chocolate Society Dark Chocolate Truffles
140g, £14.95, chocolate.co.uk
Texturally it’s delicious, very smooth and inviting. That’s a good truffle because it’s got bitterness. Grown-up, but still has a playful amount of sugar.
★★★★★

Charbonnel et Walker Dark Chocolate Truffles with Edible Gold Leaf
115g, £14.50, charbonnel.co.uk
It’s a little bit waxy… Looks like it’s going to be deeper and darker than it is. I quite like that it’s not too sweet.
★★★

Waitrose 1 Dark Chocolate Truffles
200g, £6.50, waitrose.com
A really funny, slightly lemony aftertaste. Not very good. I don’t know what’s going on with that.
★★

Booja-Booja Dairy Free Dark Ecuadorian Chocolate Truffles
69g, £4.99, ocado.com
I like it that they are square. Slightly sour aftertaste. Taking itself a little bit seriously.
★★

Chocolate seclection boxes under £20

Chococo Christmas Selection Box
25 chocolates, £19.95, chococo.co.uk
Some traditional, others modern arty looking. Mmmm … There’s something for everyone. Yep, that is a good box. Bloody bargain, mate.
★★★★★

Sainsbury’s Taste the Difference Belgian Chocolate Assortment
400g, £11, sainsburys.co.uk
A big box, nice simple presentation. A mixed bag but you don’t expect to like every one.
★★★★

Selfridges Selection Festive Chocolate Collection
225g, £15.99, selfridges.com
These look fancy. The white chocolate is a bit greasy. Good texture, not too sweet, well balanced.
★★★★

Asda Extra Special Belgian Chocolate Selection
190g, £5, available in store at Asda
It’s trying quite hard to be posh, the hexagonal shapes look a bit cheap. The cone chocolate is a bit soapy and really sweet.
★

Luxury chocolate selection boxes

BEST BUY

Pierre Marcolini Malline Découverte
220g, £29, marcolini.com
I like the little coloured hearts, I’d like a dress out of these colours! Feels fancy in a gentle way. Amazing flavours. Treat yourself.
★★★★★

Marks & Spencer Ultimate Chocolate Collection
600g, £30, marksandspencer.com
For a family. It’s a statement box of chocolates, loads of colour, delicious, definitely special. Something for everyone.
★★★★★

Rococo Round Box 2 Mixed Selection
340g, £46.50, rococochocolates.com
Looks lovely, quite luxurious. Nicely balanced. You could work your way through those in one Midsomer Murders.
★★★★

Godiva 20-piece Christmas Collection
245g, £30, godivachocolates.co.uk
I don’t think it looks fancy enough for over £20. Looks look like a box from a not very posh shop trying to be posh – but they are tasty.
★★★

Drinking chocolate

Hotel Chocolat Milky Hot Chocolate
250g, £9, hotelchocolat.com
A proper hot chocolate. Milk to chocolate balance is really nice. If my child was crying and upset, I’d make them a big frothy cup of this.
★★★★★

Tesco Drinking Chocolate
500g, £2.50, tesco.com
Sweet; comforting though. Vanilla-y, light in flavour, not too heavy on the tongue. Makes me want to get on the sofa and watch a movie.
★★★★

Sainsbury’s Taste the Difference Drinking Chocolate
300g, £2.50, sainsburys.co.uk
Very nice, quite rich. This one is really chocolatey actually. It’s not too sweet.
★★★★

Asda Extra Special Indulgent Drinking Chocolate
300g, £2.48, asda.com
A nice little foamy top, looks appealing. Good chocolate flavour, quite rounded. A little powdery after you sip it, a bit peculiar …
★★★

_{This article contains affiliate links to products. Our journalism is independent and is never written to promote these products although we may earn a small commission if a reader makes a purchase.}