Vodka

Fortnum & Mason English Barley Vodka
50cl, £28.50, fortnumandmason.com
Slightly buttery. Tastes like [Japanese spirit] shōchū. Feels more artisanal. More to my taste.
★★★★

Ketel One Vodka
70cl, £23.99, ocado.com
This doesn’t feel too bad, it’s quite creamy. Reasonably well constructed – tastes a bit like rye. It’s not offensive.
★★★

Tamova Triple Distilled Vodka
70cl, £9.99, aldi.co.uk
It’s OK ... it feels pretty smooth and round, but it does have a really thin taste. It’s not particularly well constructed.
★★

Rachmaninoff Triple Distilled Vodka
70cl, £9.99, lidl.co.uk
Very aggressive – it has a really alcohol-y finish to it. It isn’t very well put together.
★

Gin

Aldi Oliver Cromwell London Dry Gin
70cl, £9.99, aldi.co.uk
Very citrusy and quite light … but it’s just too light for me – I prefer more classical styles but it might appeal to some.
★★★

Gordon’s Special Dry London Gin
70cl, £14.50, ocado.com
There’s a progression through it … the botanicals seem a bit more balanced here. Quite linear. It doesn’t feel super fresh and bright.
★

Co-op Irresistible London Dry Gin
70cl, £17.49, co-operative food.co.uk
It has a weird finish. Feels very confused. There’s no clarity … it’s like everything has come together all at once.
★

Daylesford Artisan Gin
70cl, £39, daylesford.com
Oh no, oh God, ugh, horrible. Super aggressive. The flavour is really muddled … feels like the botanicals are not very integrated with the spirit.
★

Blended whisky

Bell’s Blended Scotch Whisky
70cl, £15, ocado.com
Quite sour in the mouth ... sour seems to be the predominant flavour. It’s got a little smokiness, a very, very vague hint.
★★★

Aldi Highland Black Blended Scotch Whisky
70cl, £12.99, aldi.co.uk
A very, very smoky character. Maybe too smoky for a blended whisky – this is veering into single malt territory.
★★★

Waitrose Blended Scotch Whisky
70cl, £13.29, waitrose.com
It’s not really my kind of whisky. It feels light, very manageable. I can imagine it working in whisky and ginger ale.
★★

Tesco Special Reserve Scotch Whisky
70cl, £12.50, tesco.com
Almost a tick list of what Scottish blended whisky should taste like. Standard.
★★

Single malt

Marks & Spencer Highland Single 12 Year Old Malt Whisky
70cl, £30, marksandspencer.com
It’s rounder and smoother, and feels more balanced than the rest. The best of this selection.
★★★

Asda Extra Special Highland Single Malt Scotch Whisky
70cl, £18.50, asda.com
Quite a prominent grainy smell on the nose. Smooth, round – a little bit more balanced than some of the others.
★★

Glenmorangie The Original Single Malt Scotch Whisky
70cl, £36, ocado.com
I’m getting a real sting from this, like it has a higher ABV than the others. There’s quite a lot of flavour there.
★

Co-op Irresistible 12 Year old Malt Whisky
70cl, £23.49, co-operativefood.co.uk
Very smoky – it’s one of the main notes. It doesn’t feel very balanced … overpoweringly smoky. Heaviest of the four.
No stars

White rum

Captain Morgan White Rum
70cl, £15, ocado.com
Probably the best of the lot. It’s slightly smoother … although there’s not much going on. It’s a very light style of rum.
★★★

Tesco White Rum
70cl, £11, tesco.com
It’s not very well constructed. Doesn’t feel sugarcane-y. Tastes like vodka with vanilla. Feels more like a neutral spirit.
★

Lidl Liberté White Rum
70cl, £9.99, lidl.co.uk
To me this rum smells and tastes a little odd, maybe a bit artificial.
★

Sainsbury’s Superior White Rum
70cl, £12, sainsburys.co.uk
That just tastes very thin – it doesn’t have much body to it. Not a great smell, quite weak.
★

Dark rum

Bacardi Carta Negra
70cl, £24, ocado.com
This tastes more mature or aged. It has a vanilla flavour to it, which gives it a soft finish. Quite balanced.
★★★

Havana Club Rum Anejo 7 Year Old
70cl, £22, ocado.com
Good mouth feel. It has a slight sweetness to it but it’s well balanced. There are flavours of demerara sugar.
★★★

Marks & Spencer Rich Dark Rum
70cl, £13, marksandspencer.com
That smells more treacly than the others, of burnt sugars. It feels dry on the palate. Tastes odd.
No stars

Gosling’s Black Seal Rum
70cl, £25, ocado.com
It looks like it’s got a lot of colouring in it. And it smells super caramel-ly. I don’t think I would drink it.
No stars