Pat & Pinky’s original wiri wiri sauce
£6.45, patandpinkys.com
This one is chunky. Nice and hot, straight away. It’s giving me jerk vibes. Like a Caribbean kind of hot sauce. Can I taste anything other than chilli? I’m going in again … It’s intense.
★★★
La Chinata smoked hot sauce
£3.75, brindisa.com
This is a nice hot sauce. Sweet, refreshing. Oh, I’m getting excited. It has a barbecue flavour, but not the consistency of barbecue sauce. It’s not as intense as I’d like, but I’d fuck with that.
★★★★
Tingly Ted’s xtra tingly hot sauce
£2.50, asda.com
This just tastes like wine vinegar. No, not happening. It’s a bit spicy, like it explodes in your mouth, but there’s no actual flavour now, unfortunately. It tastes mass produced.
★
Eaten Alive preserved lemon hot sauce BEST BUY
£3.99, eatenalive.co.uk
A thin sauce. Something weird … fruity. Am I right? Bring it back. I can’t believe I like this. It’s lemon? OK, I get lemon. This is cool. Wow. Really good. I’m sweating. I’m gonna stand up for a bit.
★★★★
Kold Sauce original fermented hot sauce
£6.99, koldsauce.com
This is red. Is it Thai chilli? I can tell from the little seed bits. It’s nice. Not overwhelming heat. That’s a good hot sauce. Respect. I’d have that on the side of a fish fry. A bit of plantain … I’d put that all over.
★★★★
Weymouth 51 sweet chilli
£5, weymouth51.co.uk
There’s a bit of a kick. Is there another flavour there? It’s OK. I want to love it, because I love sweet chilli, but it’s not the best I’ve ever had. Good concept, not the best delivery.
★★★
Koffiracha chilli flame
£7, koffiracha.com
Who said let’s put coffee together with hot sauce? You get it straight away because of the grains. The coffee neutralises the heat. It’s so weird. Did they tip ground coffee in hot sauce by accident?
★★
Koffiracha chilli fire BEST TASTE
£7, koffiracha.com
Like before … but hotter! This is devilish mode. Bro. It’s fucking great. It’d be good with chicken. They should throw away that first version. This tastes like someone had a good idea.
★★★★★
Lazy Scientist Brixton hot sauce
Hot, but not to the point of no return. Is it a piri piri style? Ah ... the heat sits in your palate. I think it’s scotch bonnet, the way they encapsulate your mouth.
★★★
Pico Punjabi ketchup
£2.50, ocado.com
Thick sauce again. Is it cumin? Garam masala? I get it, Indian style, nice flavour – it’s just … not enough heat. This is a weird job, isn’t it …
★★
Waitrose hot chipotle ketchup
£2.10, waitrose.com
A bit smoky. Is it chipotle? Yeah, yeah, I like it. Mellow. On a burrito or with some rice and beans … It’s good. Beautiful, ketchup style. It’s sweet, but has enough heat.
★★★★
Kumana original hot sauce
£3.50, waitrose.com
Sour, herby vibes. You could convince me there’s avocado in there – the consistency. I feel it’s hard to make chilli sauces that taste of other stuff because the chilli takes away the flavour.
★★★
DevilDog Sauces scotch bonnet, mango and lime chilli sauce
Really good. A bit mellow, not hot for too long. A bit fruity, a bit sour. More flavour happening than just “hot sauce”, but not as hot as I was expecting.
★★★★
Marks & Spencer habanero naga chilli sauce
£1.95, marksandspencer.com
This is sweet, it’s hot, it’s vinegary. Woo-hoo – it’s hot right off but you quickly get the flavour and sweetness of the chillies. What chillies – habanero? It’s not as hot as I’d think for having nagas.
★★★
Spice Island Chilli ghost ship
Oh my god. Oh my god. I don’t get much other flavour than chilli, but I like it. Oh shit. This has to be the last one. Is it naga? Ghost pepper! My brain is on fire; I’m rocking through it. It’s good, though.
★★★★
All items are blind tested
